College... Bad decision?

Lately, I have come upon some financial difficulties. I have over $23,000 in student loan debt. I was supposed to leave Catawba with about half that, but they repeatedly screwed me over. I came to accept that, thinking that my degree would be worth it. Well, it's not. I can't find an effing job. I am on unemployment. I have applied to jobs. No response whatsoever. I am either over-qualified or under-qualified for jobs. My degree is not doing me a damn bit of good.

However, it doesn't matter. My loans are still there. It doesn't matter if that degree gets me a job or not. I have 3 different school loans. Two of them are currently in forbearance. That means that I don't have to make payments on them right now, but interest is still accruing. The other one, I am still attempting to make payments on. As of right now, I am caught up. However, I have another almost $300 payment due at the end of the month.

This degree isn't getting me anywhere. It seems like the only way I will be able to get a job is to get a degree in something else; something more specialized; something in demand.

So, I've thought about going back to school. The only thing I really want to go back to school for is Veterinary Technology. I will rack up thousands more in student loan debt. The really funny thing is: I will not be making much more money than what I make now. So, I will probably be in the same position that I am now.

This is almost funny to me. Almost. If it weren't so heartbreakingly painful.

I am never going to get out of debt. I will always be in this cycle. My only hope: the lottery. haha. I laugh through the tears.

So, at this point, I'm pretty sure that college was one of the worst decisions I've made. I would probably be working a crap job right now if I hadn't gone to college. But, I could have paid my bills with a crap job. The only real bills I have right now are rent and school loans. I can pay the rent with my unemployment, which is barely above minimum wage. So, I would be doing just fine. The only things I gained with this degree: a piece of paper, minimal pride, and a ton of debt.

Some days I laugh at this. Some days I cry. Today is one of the bad days. It's not funny to me today.

Schools Out Forever...

In a few days, students will be moving back into the dorms or into apartments in Salisbury. A few days after that, classes will be starting. And I will not be a part of it. For the first time in 17 years, I will not be starting another semester. And it makes me sad.

When I left Catawba in May as an official college graduate, I was so excited. I thought, no more homework, no more papers, no more reading books that I don't want to read. No more school BS. I was really burnt out. I thought that the real world would be simple compared to Catawba.

Well, I was right. I don't have homework. I have free time at night where I don't have to worry about writing papers or reading books that I don't care about. I don't have to do lab reports or projects. I work about 48 hours a week. And I still have lots of free time. I have my nights and my weekends to do whatever. It's a hundred times simpler than Catawba. However, I don't know that that is a good thing.

I miss my friends. Some of them are still around, but there are so many missing links (haha, double entendre for my Link Friends)... My life is boring. Even though there was always so much to be done at Catawba, it was at least always different. I do the same things every week at work. I always had multiple jobs and lots of schoolwork, but at least it never got boring. Joe travels a lot. When he's gone, I mostly just hang out with Jack, Cody, Jippy, and Daly. I love my babies, but they don't have much to say.

My birthday weekend was the most fun I've had all summer. I had so many of my friends together at one time. We talked and hung out and it was wonderful. It was like what I had most every weekend while at Catawba.

I'm hoping that now that school is about to start back up, I'll at least get to see some of my younger friends more often (and the super seniors, of course), but I can't just hang on to Catawba forever. Sooner or later, all the people I know there will be gone.

My parents always told me to enjoy college because life gets rough in the real world and there's always so much to be done. That's BS. College is WAY more work than the real world. It's just that the real world is not nearly as interesting.

I am hoping to find a book club or something to join. I just don't want to have to drive all the way to Charlotte. I'm sure that things would be easier for me to adjust to if I didn't dislike Gastonia so much. We live in Crackton and there is nothing to do in Gastonia. It's dull and dreary. It's a depressing place to live.

But Joe doesn't want to buy a house. I don't blame him, but we won't find anywhere else to rent where they'll let us have 4 dogs. So, we're stuck until we decide to buy. I hate it. I just want to be less bored and live in an interesting (and not depressing) place. Life in the real world is ... I don't even know. It's certainly not like life at Catawba.