Movie Reviews

Saturday night, Philip and I went to the drive in.  We saw Cowboys & Aliens and Captain America.  I was really excited because I've wanted to see Cowboys & Aliens for a long time.  I didn't care that much about Captain America but everyone I've talked to has raved about it.  

My thoughts on Cowboys & Aliens: Meh.

My thoughts on Captain America: Meh.

They were both okay but they just weren't all that I had hoped for.  

** POSSIBLE SPOILERS **

Cowboys & Aliens is about cowboys fighting some aliens (coulda got that from the title, right?).  Those of you who know me know that I love a good alien flick.  I'm a sucker.  Well, the aliens in this movie looked funky.  They reminded me of the Locust from Gears of War (wow.  I spend too much time watching Philip play video games!).  And, the movie was cheesey.  It didn't flow very well.  I was unimpressed.  Besides, why are the aliens after the gold??  WTF do they care about gold?  The other alien lady says something about the gold is as rare to them as it is to us.  What kind of explanation is that?  I mean, if there were life on Mars, I doubt we'd start a war over some rare mineral on Mars just because we could.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  

Captain America is about, well, Captain America.  It's about how he got his start.  Honestly, it was pretty decent, but it was a little too cheesey for me.  To be fair, I'm not a Captain America fan.  I did hate that the Cap just got one tiny kiss from Peggy before he has to go off and save the world.  He has to crash in order to save the world.  Right before he crashes into the Arctic, he makes a date with Peggy.  He crashes and then is frozen for 70 years.  So, he missed the date and the love of his life is dead.  What a great, cheerful way to end a movie, guys.  

Oh, well.  They weren't terrible movies, but they certainly weren't fantastic.  And that's my 2¢ worth.  

Movie Review: Paul

Paul: "Why are we holding hands?"
Graeme: "So we look like a family.  We're just a 
couple of regular guys walking down the street 
with a small cowboy." (Source)

Let me start by saying that I did not have any real expectations for Paul.  I figured it would be funny, but probably not really a very good movie.  

I was actually pleasantly surprised.  :)

For those of you who don't know, Paul is about two geeky guys (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) who stumble across an alien in trouble named Paul (voice of Seth Rogen).  They decide to help him get to where he needs to go.  Along the way, they run into a ton of trouble [they're being pursued by federal agents (Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, and Joe Lo Truglio)] and pick up a very conservative Christian woman named Ruth (Kristen Wiig).  Paul opens Ruth's eyes to the truth of the universe and she tries to shake her conservative roots. This leads to some very, very interesting swearing.  Their journey is unusual but highly entertaining.  

If you're looking for a serious film, this isn't it.  If you're looking for something light and funny, this might be it.  Just be aware that the movie is very vulgar at times.  This is not a movie for little kids (despite the cute alien).  Philip and I were highly amused, but I realize that this is not a movie for everyone.  But, if you're like Philip and I, you'll find yourself quoting Kristen Wiig for days afterwards!

(3.5/5.0 stars)

A Twilight Disaster...

Ugh. The movie was awful. Absolutely pitiful. I can't believe that so many people have talked about how good it was. It was a disaster.

The script was poor at best. It was like the screenwriter took a chainsaw to the actual book and then went around picking up scraps of it and gluing it to a new piece of paper. A lot of quotations from the book were in the movie, but they weren't in the right places and they sometimes weren't said by the right people. My favorite lines from the book were in the movie, but they were poorly placed and the lines were butchered. Lines that should have been beautiful seemed forced and uncomfortable.

The acting (if you can call it that) was absolutely awful. Robert Pattinson is no Edward. He looked uncomfortable throughout the whole movie. He just seemed scary and stalkerish instead of mysterious and intriguing. And, a lot of the other male actors were way hotter than Edward. James (the villain!) was way hotter. Even his brothers, Emmett and Jasper, were hotter than Edward.

Alice seemed ditzy rather than eccentric.

Jasper seemed constipated the entire movie.

Carlisle looked way too young and kind of creepy looking instead of dreamy.

Jacob looked way too pretty (like a girl). He's supposed to be ruggedly handsome, like Hugh Jackman. Not pretty in the way that Kate Hudson is pretty.

I came to terms with the way that Bella looked. I can deal with that. It wasn't the Bella that I wanted. Even with regard to her acting. I didn't like the way that Bella was portrayed. However, I think that she did the best job she could with the script that was given to her.

If I had to choose a mate from the movie, I totally would have picked Mike Newton. And that is completely inexcusable from the book standpoint. I thought that Michael Welch did an awesome job with Mike though.

The movie. It sucked. It lasted for 2 hours. Nothing really happened. There was no real show of how and why Bella and Edward fell in love.

1. Bella moves to Forks.
2. Edward seems to find her repulsive.
3. He disappears for a week.
4. He comes back and talks to her.
5. He follows her to Port Angeles.
6. They're in love.

That's it. One minute he finds her disgusting, the next minute they're inseparable. There is nothing to show how they feel for each other. They say they're in love, but that's the only way you'd know it. The whole thing is so forced and uncomfortable. It's awful.

There is a scene where Edward and Bella kiss for the first time. It's beautiful in the book (It is dangerous because he thirsts for her blood but he wants to control himself because he cares for her). The scene in the movie was horrible. It was very uncomfortable. People were laughing in the theater because it was so bad.

Also, the fight scene with Edward and James was not very believable. Edward can read James' mind. Therefore, the fight should not have been like that. James shouldn't have been able to hurt Edward at all. Edward can see what James is going to do before he does it. And he's also incredibly fast. This can be seen in Eclipse when Edward fights Victoria. So, that was really discouraging as well.

The movie was very disappointing. It was poorly acted, it had a piss-poor script, the plot was forced, and the special effects were bad. And it didn't do the book justice. :(

Twilight Tonight

Joe and I are going to see Twilight tonight. :)

So far, I've heard bad things from critics, but great things from my friends who have seen it. It's getting my hopes up so I really hope that it is good.

I'm getting excited. Like a giddy teenager. Just a few years older... lol

I hope that all of my hopes and dreams aren't smashed. I didn't like any of the trailers and I liked very few of the actors that they cast for the parts. So, before, I wasn't really looking for the movie to be good. Now, people have told me how amazing and wonderful the movie is, so I'm hoping that it lives up to the hype. :S

Wish me luck.

lol... luck. On watching a movie. Sounds silly. I just don't want to be heartbroken about how pitiful this movie is.