A day I dread...

I have a doctor appointment later today. I dread days like these. I don't know what is wrong with me, therefore, I do not know what they'll have to do to me. And doctors tend to rely on tests to figure out what is wrong with me. And lots of tests use needles. And I hate needles. I have an irrational fear of needles and other sharp objects. Mostly needles. It's called belonephobia. I hyperventilate when someone tries to give me a shot or take blood or anything else involving a needle. This is especially bad considering the reason I am going to the doctor.

I can't breathe. lol... so I'm sure hyperventilating would not help the situation. I have always had difficulty breathing. Those of you who have been around me a lot have probably noticed that I "sigh" regularly. This is me trying to get air because I don't feel that I'm getting enough. It used to be that I only had this probably when I was stressed out. I could just relax and take a few deep breaths and I would be fine. Now, I am not under stress, but I can't breathe. I try to take deep breaths, but I don't feel that it's working. I feel like I'm not getting enough air.

This has been going on for about 2 months now. I've been trying to forget about it, but I finally had a breakdown on Monday night because I was getting stressed out about it (that doesn't help my breathing!). I haven't been sleeping because I haven't been able to breathe. Joe is making me go to the doctor. I don't have insurance, so I have to pay out of pocket, so I was trying to see if it would just go away! It didn't. And now I have an appointment to find out what's wrong with me.

I did some research online. There are several things it could be. The dust in our house while we were remodeling could have triggered asthma. I could be anemic. I may just be insane. :) lol... hopefully I'll find out soon, though. And without needles. :S

Anxious...

We are STILL waiting to hear back from the bank. They have to appraise the house as it will be after we finish the remodeling so that we can get a loan to do the remodeling on the house. It was supposed to take about a week. It's been over a week. Joe called yesterday and they said it would be later that afternoon or the following morning. Well, it's the following morning. I'm tired of waiting!

Not only is it stressful just waiting, but we can't schedule anything until we know what the bank is going to say. It will take 3 weeks to get the cabinets from the point that we order them. And then the installation should only take a day. The tile guy can't come in until the cabinets are in. And he can't do the bathroom until the door is moved from the hallway to the bedroom. And my mom is coming down to help us do that. And she can't come down (she'll only be able to stay a few days and then go back to Indiana!) until all of the baseboard heating units are removed (because she's also helping us paint and we can't paint until the baseboard heating is gone... otherwise there will be blank spots when they're taken out). And we can't schedule the guy to take out the baseboard heating until we hear something from the bank.

And of course, the tickets are outrageously expensive. It's going to cost me $300 to get my mom down here. And they get more expensive every day! I need to get it scheduled soon or I'll have to sell my liver to be able to get her down here!

Also, when she gets here, we're going to have to spend a lot of time on the bathroom and on the master bedroom. It's going to take a while because we have to move the bathroom door from the hallway to the bedroom to turn it into the master bathroom. Then we have to remove the wallpaper in the master bedroom. I've never done this before, but I hear that it's a completely awful experience. I am not looking forward to it. Knocking out walls, putting up new drywall and doors, tearing out cabinets, and painting an entire house: not scary to me. Tearing down wallpaper: SCARY beyond belief for me.

Wish us luck!