It Could Be Worse...

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Role Model?

This is good and do not cheat!!!

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???

Try it without looking at the answers...please don't look down until you do it, you'll love it I promise!

GET A CALCULATOR (YOUR COMPUTER HAS ONE ON IT)

1) Pick your favorite number between 1 and 9.
2) MULTIPLY that number by 3.
3) Then ADD 3 to that number.
4) Then again, MULTIPLY by 3.
5) Now ADD the digits together and scroll down...














Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
3. Abraham Lincoln
4. Helen Keller
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. George Clooney
8. Thomas Edison
9. Tara Lyn Ketcham
10. George W. Bush

I know, I just have that effect on people! One day you too can be like me... :) Believe it!

P.S. Stop picking different numbers. I am your idol, just deal with it!!

an email joke... I'm Broke!

When I say I'm Broke, I mean it!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“Don’t waste your time,” said the old lady, “I'm broke and haven't got any money.” Then she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don't be too hasty,” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. “If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Ma’am, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old lady stepped back, smiled, and said, “Well, let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.”