Dreams

Last night I had a series of very interesting dreams. I remembered them upon waking, but now I can't remember as much. It's driving me nuts.

In one of my dreams, I was hanging out with someone (a friend), and then he confessed his love to me. I told him that I felt the same way for him, but we couldn't be together because I was with Joe. Then, I'm not sure I broke up with Joe or not, but then this friend and I started dating. It was magical and beautiful and we were apparently just made for each other (but of course that's the way it goes in the beginning of most relationships).

Anyway, a few things are driving me nuts about this. First of all, I can't remember who this friend was in my dream. I know that it was someone that I actually know. Second, I never dream about being in relationships with other people. And thirdly, I'm not secretly madly in love with anyone else, unless it's subconsciously! lol

So, I decided to look up what these dreams "meant." I'm not sure that I believe in dream interpretation, but I was curious, so here is what one website said about my dream:

http://www.freakydreams.com/2336,Cheating.html

"To dream that you are cheating on your spouse, mate, fiancé, or significant other, suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You may have compromised your beliefs or integrity and/or wasting your energy and time on fruitless endeavors. Alternatively, it reflects the intensity of your sexual passion and exploring areas of your sexuality. It is actually a reaffirmation of your commitment. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for people approaching a wedding to have dreams about erotic experiences with partners other than their intended spouses. Most likely, such dreams represent the newness of your sexual passion. It may also signify anxieties of changing your identity - that of a spouse."

Okay, so I'm not sure that just kissing is considered an "erotic experience", but I know that Joe and I are not near getting married, so I'm not sure that part applies. I have spent much time questioning where my life is headed in general, and that in turn has caused me to wonder if Joe and I truly are going to stay together. I worry a lot that Joe and I aren't meant to be together lately, but I don't know where the worry comes from. We're getting along fine. Nothing has changed between us. I try not to think of it because I think it mostly stems from me being scared about "becoming an adult." I am afraid to think of having to settle down into one job, not going back to school, my friends moving away, and becoming used to a schedule. Work every day from 7:45 to 5:30. Make dinner. Watch tv. Go for a walk. Play with the dogs. Go to sleep. Do it again. It's horrifying to me. So, maybe the dream interpreter is correct in that I am worried about "fruitless endeavors" and changing my identity ("Adult").

http://www.dreamhawk.com/dyd-a7.htm#affair

In general dreaming of a pleasant affair is a way of enjoying or exercising the wonderful feelings of falling in love and sharing emotional and sexual pleasure. Many dreams are compensatory, and therefore make up for the lack of passion or excitement in our daily life. But having an affair in a dream may help keep alive or active the ability to love and be loved if there is not sufficient stimulus in waking life. It is not unusual for married and happy people to dream of an affair with someone else. This may express nothing more than a desire for variety, but of course occasionally is the sign of an infatuation or desire for the person we love in the dream. Adultery dreams may also express release of sexual feelings; desire for another partner; desire for one's partner to have sex with someone else.

The person you are having an affair with may represent a particular attitude or situation in your life. Therefore if the dream has a strong feeling such as failure or fear attached to it, the affair might well be dealing with your relationship with such life situations. Examples include - infidelity; betrayal; failure; longing for love; feeling alone in a relationship; etc.

Another possibility with dreams about an affair is that they express the constant process of trying to find a balance between what we deeply desire and what is socially or personally possible. Some people will marry or live with a person because that person is the best they could achieve in the circumstances. Nevertheless they may still long for someone different. Or perhaps there are aspects of relationship missing in their present situation, and they long for a fuller satisfaction but do not want to destroy their present situation.

Well, more interesting thoughts. Again, this friend and I did not have sex in the dream. I guess I don't just give it up in my dreams either. ;) Am I longing for variety? As I already said, I know I am in my life, but is my relationship boring me as well? Joe and I have been together for almost 4 years (September 23). Maybe subconsciously, I am longing for newness. I haven't been single in almost 8 years. I started dating my high school sweetheart at 15. I was with him for almost 4 years. Then my rebound was Joe. lol... I've never really "dated." I've never been single, really. My high school sweetheart was my first real boyfriend. They are the only 2 guys I have ever been with. And sometimes I do wonder what it would have been like to be single or to just date casually. Don't get me wrong. I love Joe, and I enjoy being with him.

So, based on my dream analysis. I may be bored and looking for variety. I may wonder what it would have been like differently. I may be just upset about life in general (stagnant) and looking for any change in my dreams. Who knows.

It still drives me nuts that I can't remember who my dream affair was with. :( lol