I hate Sysco Denver

At the beginning of the year, Philip was switched to a 5:30pm to 2am schedule at work.  Well, my boss suggested that I switch to an 8am to 3pm schedule so that I could at least see him for a little while each day during the week.  

It has been fantastic.  I see him for about 40 minutes (if I get off work on time) Monday through Thursday.  I know it sounds like nothing, but when you're used to nothing, 40 minutes makes a ton of difference.  

Well, last night, Philip was informed that he was being switched back to a 5pm to 1:30am schedule.  That just sucks.  That means that I will see him for about 10 minutes... and possibly none if I don't get out of work at exactly 3:00 (which, let's face it -- our tenants like to have emergencies at the time I'm supposed to be leaving work).  

I am pissed.  I was so used to actually see him during the week and now I don't want to give it up.  I hate this.  I cried and cried last night.  It's just not fair.  Everything was going great.  I don't want to give up seeing Philip.  

My boss says that Philip should try to find another job.  There's a problem with that.  Where is Philip going to find a job that is going to pay as well with as good of benefits that has a day-shift schedule instead of nights?  It's not going to happen.

The same goes for me.  I love my job.  I get paid well and have good benefits.  I also actually have a fantastic boss.  I am not going to find a job working nights that will have all of those benefits.  I tried.  

I am probably going to have to shift my sleep schedule.  I finally got on a normal sleep schedule, but this sleep schedule isn't going to allow me to see Philip.  I'm going to have to sleep when I get home from work and then get up when Philip gets home from work if I want to see him.  

I keep trying to tell myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... it's just really far off. Philip and I plan to continue to save and build our credit.  Then, in the next 4 to 5 years, we will buy a house and start a family.  And then I will be a stay at home mom.  Then I'll actually see my husband during the week.  And it will be glorious.  

I hate that it's so far off, but Philip is definitely worth it.  :)

Sweetie

I hate being called sweetie by anyone I don't know.  The same goes for honey or sugar or any other "cute" name.  If I have never met you before, I'm certainly not your "sweetie."  It drives me bonkers.  

It bothers me slightly less if the person is elderly.  I mean, they're set in their ways by this point in their life and  they probably have grandchildren my age (and might have difficulty remembering my name).  However, if it's someone my age or even into their 30s or even 40s, I want to reach out and slap them.  

I realize that I am a cute girl.  I look sweet and I'm really nice to you.  That just means that I am fantastic at my job.  I make you feel comfortable and you like me.  However, once you call me "sweetie," it makes my job a whole lot harder and my blood pressure raises.  

Even if I'm cute or sweet, I am still in a professional position and expect to be taken seriously.  Would it be acceptable for me to call all of our tenants "honey"?  I think not.  So, why do people think it's okay to call me that?  UGH!  I just want to shake some people!  You can be courteous and still be professional!  Find the line, people!

A Day I Thought Would Never Come

Today I did something I never thought I would do.  I wished for the New England Patriots to win.  

It hurts me to admit something so atrocious, but I could not help myself.  I wanted so badly for the Jets to go down.  They talk so much trash but they aren't as good as their talk.  If they were truly as good as their talk, they wouldn't actually have to talk so much smack. 

I really do hate the Patriots.  I am a Colts fan through and through.  Therefore, it is a given that I cannot like the Patriots.  However, I will not deny that the Patriots are a damn good team (I just enjoy when they fail).  Tom Brady is a fantastic quarterback (just not as good as Peyton Manning).  No matter how good the team is, I still have to hate them.  It's in my blood.

Despite my hatred for the Pats, I had to root for them today.  That's because I hate douchebags and hypocrites even worse.  

Antonio Cromartie actually had the balls to call Tom Brady an "asshole" and say, "Fuck him."  Excuse me, but Antonio Cromartie should have his photo in the dictionary right next to the word "asshole."  He has had NINE kids by EIGHT different women.  And, he's had at least FIVE different paternity suits filed against him in the past TWO years.  It's so bad that the Jets had to give him an advance of a half a million dollars so that he could pay his child support this year.  That, my friends, is an asshole.

It gets worse.  In an interview, he had trouble remembering all of his kids' names.  If you can't remember NINE kids' names, maybe put on a rubber so you don't have to worry about disappointing them (because you are a DOUCHEBAG father if there ever was one).  

I'm not claiming that Tom Brady is an angel.  However, I'm thinking that Antonio Cromartie should remember the old adage, "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."  But, then again, that might be too difficult for him to understand; I mean, he obviously can't even figure out how to work a condom. 

Cromartie isn't the only reason I rooted for the Pats.  I also can't stand their damn coach.  The Jets just like to run their mouths when they don't really have reason to.  I just like for good teams (who set good examples for our children) succeed.  So, I wish the Pats could have put the Jets in their place.  I guess I'll just have to settle for the Steelers stomping them next weekend... it just won't be as fulfilling when it's a team headed up by a rapist is doing the beatdown.  Gah!  The NFL is no place for kids to find role models (except for my Peyton Manning, of course.)!

TiMER

A few weeks ago, I watched a movie called TiMER.  The tagline for the movie is, "If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?"  The movie is about these timers that are implanted into your arm that count down to the exact moment you will meet your soulmate.  

The movie was okay.  Not great, but definitely not bad either.  However, I have a lot of problems with it. 

First of all, how in the hell would this timer work?  It's just impossible.  But, let's pretend for a moment that it could actually work.  Here is where we get to my real problem with this idea. 

I know with all of my heart that Philip is my soulmate.  He is the half that makes me whole.  However, I was friends with Philip for several years before we started dating.  In fact, just last week was the 6 year anniversary of the day we met.  

When I met Philip, I was in a relationship.  If someone would have told me that day that Philip was my soulmate, I would have laughed in their face.  I was happily in love with my then boyfriend, Joe.  Beyond that, Philip was immature and was way too much of a partier for my tastes.  

The day we met, I was not ready for Philip and Philip was not ready for me.  We still had a long journey ahead of ourselves to prepare us for being in a relationship with each other.  

I had to go through some awful stuff to realize what I really deserved.  I had to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of my life.  

Philip still had a LOT of growing up to do.  He also had to figure out who he was and what he wanted out of life.  

And, we still had to build the fantastic friendship that we have to start the foundations of our relationship.  After four and a half years of friendship, we had a wonderful friendship and it made the transition into relationship status much simpler.  Our friendship grew into something more. 

If we would've had TiMERs that told us when we met that we were soulmates, it would not have worked out the same.  We would have been forced into something that neither of us were ready for.  Our relationship would not be the same.  Soulmates or not, Philip and I 6 years ago were not compatible.  We had to become the people we are today in order to have the relationship we have.  

So, in answer to the question the movie poses: No.  I would not want to know.  I would want to let fate run its course.  It works out much better that way.  :)

How to have a HAPPY relationship

First of all, start with a partner that you can tolerate. (haha) I know that seems really simple, but it's the most common mistake. This partnership cannot last just because you love someone. I've been in 3 serious relationships. I loved the first two men so much... but that didn't make any difference. By the end of the relationships, I had started to hate both of them. I wasn't compatible with either of them but I had convinced myself that love was enough. I was wrong.

Here is my list of things that you need to have in common in order to have a happy, healthy relationship:

1. You need to be sexually compatible. If one of you is a sex addict and the other has a low or even normal sex drive, the relationship is not going to work.
2. You need to have similar goals. If one of you wants a dozen kids and the other wants none, the relationship is not going to work.
3. You need to have similar personalities. If one of you is a LOT more dominant than the other, one person is always going to get walked all over. The relationship will not work that way.
4. You need to have things in common. I know they say opposites attract (I've been a victim), but if you don't have any common ground, the relationship will not work.
5. You need to be your own person (same goes for your partner). If you don't have a life outside of your partner, the relationship will not work. You need to have hobbies and interests that are your own. You cannot spend every waking second with your partner; you'll get sick of each other eventually.
6. You need to have TRUST. If you don't trust your partner, why have you chosen them to be your partner? Your partner is supposed to be your confidant; the person you choose to spend your life with. If you can't trust your partner, who can you trust? If you have insecurities, figure them out. If your partner is not worthy of your trust, kick them to the curb. If a relationship does not have trust, there is NO relationship. It's just not going to work.

I'd like to expand on what I've said in a few of those rules. If you do not allow your partner to have his or her own life, they are going to resent you. Let me give an example. A bunch of Philip's coworkers want him to go to Las Vegas with them in August as a sort of bachelor party. His coworkers thought that it would be hell getting me to agree to that. So did my friends. Do you know what I said when Philip told me about it? My exact words: That's a great idea!

I didn't have to stop to think about it. I was appalled that other people thought I wouldn't allow it. I TRUST Philip. I know Philip is a wonderful partner. I know that he would not do anything to hurt me. I want Philip to be happy. I want him to go out and do things with his friends. I know that he wants to go to Vegas. So, why would I not let him go? It's ridiculous to think that I would have a problem with it.

If I did not trust Philip to spend a weekend in Vegas with his buddies, I'd have to ask myself why I was marrying him. If I couldn't trust him for 3 days without me, what kind of relationship is that?

I think this is one of the biggest problems in relationships. There is no trust and people are not allowing their partners to be themselves. Philip loves video games. He plays them fairly often. I have no problem with it. He has a friend whose wife will not allow him to play video games very often. He has to ask permission and even then, he can typically only play when his wife is at work. What kind of relationship is that?

As Philip's partner, I want him to be happy. I know that video games (among other things) make him happy. Why would I not let him play video games? I mean, I would understand the wife if it was all Philip's friend ever did, but come on people. Your partner should still be able to be his or herself. That means that they should still be able to do what they want to do without you flipping your lid. It's beyond ridiculous.

Be a good partner. It makes the relationship much simpler. If you're in a relationship that isn't working, take a look at yourself. Are you being a good partner? If not, maybe you should become one and see how the relationship works then. If you're a good partner and your relationship still isn't working, you may want to check to see if your partner is a good partner. If he or she isn't, have a chat. See if they know that they're being a bad partner. If they aren't willing to be a good partner to you, it may be time to accept that you and your partner just aren't compatible.

Video Game Violence

I was watching an old episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit last night. It was an episode called "Game" from season 6. It was about how video game violence can create violent children and how we can blame video games when children commit heinous crimes.

I think that is bullsh*t. It's just ridiculous. I have played violent video games and watched violent tv shows and movies -- even as a young child. I am a pacifist. The same thing goes for gun violence. Guns do not kill people; people kill people. I was around guns my entire life. I have never shot anyone.

I was taught how to use a gun as a child and a teen. However, both my sister and I knew that the guns were off limits without adult supervision. The guns were not locked up in a safe. The were in my dad's closet. We knew exactly where they were and we could have taken them out without any problems. But, our parents taught us the dangers of guns and proper gun safety.

The same thing goes for video games and movies. If you teach your children that the video games are not the real world and spend the time to teach your children to NOT be violent, the chances are far less that they are going to be violent. Don't blame the video games and movies. BE A PARENT. Be responsible for your own children.

If you don' t think that your child can handle a game where people are killing other people or creatures or whatnot, don't let your child play those games. If you think that your child can understand the difference between a game and reality (which should be a problem if you simply SPEND SOME TIME with your damn kids and TALK TO THEM), there should not be any problems.

I just wish that people would not have kids if they can't handle the responsibility of raising them. You cannot blame the media if your child is violent just like you cannot blame McDonald's if your kid gets fat. You are the parent; act like one.