A day I dread...

I have a doctor appointment later today. I dread days like these. I don't know what is wrong with me, therefore, I do not know what they'll have to do to me. And doctors tend to rely on tests to figure out what is wrong with me. And lots of tests use needles. And I hate needles. I have an irrational fear of needles and other sharp objects. Mostly needles. It's called belonephobia. I hyperventilate when someone tries to give me a shot or take blood or anything else involving a needle. This is especially bad considering the reason I am going to the doctor.

I can't breathe. lol... so I'm sure hyperventilating would not help the situation. I have always had difficulty breathing. Those of you who have been around me a lot have probably noticed that I "sigh" regularly. This is me trying to get air because I don't feel that I'm getting enough. It used to be that I only had this probably when I was stressed out. I could just relax and take a few deep breaths and I would be fine. Now, I am not under stress, but I can't breathe. I try to take deep breaths, but I don't feel that it's working. I feel like I'm not getting enough air.

This has been going on for about 2 months now. I've been trying to forget about it, but I finally had a breakdown on Monday night because I was getting stressed out about it (that doesn't help my breathing!). I haven't been sleeping because I haven't been able to breathe. Joe is making me go to the doctor. I don't have insurance, so I have to pay out of pocket, so I was trying to see if it would just go away! It didn't. And now I have an appointment to find out what's wrong with me.

I did some research online. There are several things it could be. The dust in our house while we were remodeling could have triggered asthma. I could be anemic. I may just be insane. :) lol... hopefully I'll find out soon, though. And without needles. :S

News for Today

So, I was glancing at Google News this morning, and the first headline definitely caught my attention.

Jet crashes into home; mother, grandmother, child killed

Is that not insane?? According to CNN, the pilot exited the plane and parachuted safely to the ground, but his plane hit a house and killed 3 people. There is also another child missing. They couldn't find her last night and they're still searching for her today. WTF, man. That is just crazy news to me. Apparently the plane was supposed to be landing on a marine base or something. This news kind of reminds me of Donnie Darko. I'm just waiting for the next headline to be about some crazy effing scary bunny terrorizing people. lol

Also in the news is this:

Deal to Rescue American Automakers Is Moving Ahead

I think it's bull crap. We're just rescuing everybody. Who needs to be be responsible anymore? Just do what you want and then when everything falls down around you for the bad decisions you made, the government will just bail you out. Where is the responsibility and accountability in that? If you're at risk of failing, you should fail or find a way to pull yourself up. It should not be the responsibility of the government or the American people to pull your ass out of the stupid mistakes that you made. It especially pisses me off with the automakers. What happened to supply and demand? Obviously we don't need the cars. Therefore, one of the giants should go under. Then the demand will go back up for the other suppliers. We shouldn't be saving companies that we don't need! If they don't want to go under, they should find another niche! It's ridiculous. If I own my own store and I'm in competition with other stores, when the going gets tough, one of us is probably going under. Whoever that may be, they'll need to find something else to provide to the public, or they'll just be gone. That's the way it should work. Grrr... Yeah, it might suck for the rest of us for a while, but we need to reset for all the stupidity that has taken place. Otherwise we'll never learn a lesson!

Good News, Bad News...

I always like to start with the bad news.

I have always been a fan of Frosted Mini Wheats (the cereal). I recently found out that it has gelatin in it (for those of you who do not know, gelatin is made from crushed up animal bones and ligaments, etc. See here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gelatin). Some vegetarians choose to still eat gelatin, or at least not go out of their way to avoid it. I am very firm in my vegetarianism. I don't eat anything which required an animal to be killed in order for that item to be made. So, gelatin is out.

I religiously check the ingredients in food to make sure that there is nothing in it that I can't eat. I have no idea how I missed it on the Frosted Mini Wheats ingredients this whole time. I'm guessing that I just thought I had checked it before and then never checked it again. So, I was a bit ill about that when I found out. And, now I will no longer be buying or eating Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats. :(

Also, Joe and I went to this Italian restaurant near where we live. I ordered a vegetarian dish. Several bites in, I thought I got a tiny bit of meat, probably sausage. I spit it out just in case, but I wasn't completely convinced that it was meat, especially since I had already eaten quite a bit and there had been nothing in it. I also didn't want to ruin the meal for Joe. Well, I took a few more bites and sure enough, I bit down on a piece of sausage. I almost threw up. Joe wanted to send it back and get me something else. I didn't want to cause any problems, so I didn't. Maybe I should have. I'm sure that someone just used the wrong spoon or something. I probably would have said something, but I forgot to tell the waitress beforehand that I was vegetarian (As I do quite a bit of the time to make sure there aren't any mistakes). If I would have told her when I ordered, then I would have sent it back and had them take it off of my check. So, that ruined that meal.

More bad news (but this leads to good news!), my parents are officially not coming down for Christmas. They told me that a few weeks ago. I was disappointed, but I am determined to spend Christmas with Joe. And, Joe has a tradition in his family of spending Christmas Eve at his Uncle Joe's house. For those of you that know Joe, you know that he doesn't have a whole lot of family left (that he likes/speaks to) and he certainly doesn't have any other real family traditions. So, I am not about to make him miss his only real tradition. Therefore, I would be spending Christmas with Joe and his family and without my family.

I wasn't moping about it so that Joe wouldn't feel guilty, but he apparently knew that I would be disappointed about it. So, he offered to pack up the boys and go to Indiana with me right after we finish at his Uncle Joe's house on Christmas Eve. That is usually done about 5:00ish, so when we finish there, we will pack the boys into the car and drive to Indiana (roughly 11 hours away). It will be a long night, but I will get to surprise my parents. :) I know that my mom will be especially heartbroken that I couldn't be there for Christmas, so she will be ecstatic when I show up on her porch at 4:00 in the morning on Christmas Day. :) I'm so excited!

Also good news, I re-read Twilight to get the ugly movie images out of my head. It's much better now. I started re-reading New Moon just for the fun of it and then I realized that I don't like the book as much because Edward leaves and Bella is heartbroken. That got me to thinking though... They're making a New Moon movie. The movie should have very little of Robert Pattinson in it. Therefore, the New Moon movie still has a chance of being decent. :) lol... anything to keep my hopes up!

Good News...

Here's some good news for the great state of North Carolina:



Jessica's Law Takes Effect In North Carolina
Sunday, November 30, 2008 – updated: 11:08 pm EST November 30, 2008

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Starting Monday, many sex offenders convicted in North Carolina will get longer prison sentences.

Under "Jessica's Law” a person who commits certain sex crimes against a child under the age of 13, must serve at least 25 years in prison.

It's named after Jessica Lundsford. She used to live in Gaston County.

In 2005, the 9-year-old was kidnapped, raped and buried alive by a convicted sex offender in Florida.



Finally. Some justice. Hopefully this will help keep some children safe. So that people who were caught once will hopefully not have a chance to get out and hurt more children. :) Hopefully they'll rot in jail until they're too old to be able to hurt any more children.