Santa must've put me on the "nice" list!

I had a fantastic Christmas. I was depressed for weeks beforehand about not being with my family on Christmas for the first time ever. It turns out that it wasn't so bad.

I got to spend several days with Philip (who is wonderful, always). We also had Skype video dates with both of our families so that we could see people open presents and just "be" with our families for the holiday. It worked out really well. I still missed my family and wish that I could be with them, but I was content in my situation. I really am very fortunate.

Also, Santa brought me a TON of awesome gifts. ;) There wasn't really anything in particular that I was asking for (besides the treadmill that Philip got me in November), so I wasn't expecting a whole lot. I was in for quite a treat! I got a bunch of books and movies (which are always great presents for me!) and I also got a breadmaker and a Kitchenaid mixer (I'm going be a baking Queen!). On top of all that, I also got 2 hockey pucks autographed by Matt Duchene (my favorite Avs player -- GO AVS!) and a new Avs jersey along with an Avs Mr. Potato-head (complete with mullet and toothless grin!). Philip and I also got a new camera from my parents. It is a spectacular camera; we both love it! It's a Canon PowerShot SX20IS 12.1MP Digital

Camera. It takes great photos and I love, love, love the zoom capabilities. :) We also got some new Halloween decorations (only 308 days left!).

The dogs got each of us a new knit cap to keep our heads warm... they, of course, are cute Avalanche hats! Here we are in our new, beautiful hats:

Phew! That's a lot of Christmas gifts! We are definitely spoiled. I don't mind though. ;) I hope that Santa brought each of you everything that was on your wishlist... unless you were naughty. In that case, try to be a better person this year! XD Happy holidays to all!

Marriage

I am incredibly fortunate. I have a wonderful partner. He loves, understands, and supports me. He is caring and generous. He is smart and funny. He is my perfect partner. We have chosen to marry and, thankfully, our marriage is supported. My family loves Philip and his family loves me. We have been very lucky.

We are especially lucky that the government has chosen not to invade our privacy and interfere in our relationship. That's because we are a heterosexual, monogamous relationship. I could not imagine if I would have fallen in love with a woman or if I chose to have a polygamous marriage.

I believe that people should be able to marry whoever they choose. So long as the marriage is between consenting adults, I don't think the government should be able to intervene. I don't care if it is between a man and a woman, two men, two woman, or between 5 different people. If the people involved in that marriage consent to the marriage, the government should butt out.

I don't understand how the government can presume to tell people that homosexuals cannot marry... especially when marriage is becoming a farce as it is. Heterosexuals are doing a fine job of ruining marriage as it is, so I don't see what harm there would be in letting homosexuals marry. I mean, adultery and divorce are sins as well, but I don't see the government trying to make those things illegal either (or at least enforcing laws forbidding those sins).

Who decides which sin is worse? And who decides which ridiculous laws the government is going to try to push? It seems to me that if the government were really trying to act in "defense of marriage," they would outlaw divorce. Wouldn't that make more sense? Don't get me wrong. I am against marriage but I do understand that there are legitimate reasons for divorce (I just wish people didn't get married at the drop of a hat so that marriage would not end in divorce so often). However, I think that divorce does a lot more damage to the idea of marriage than homosexuality does.

There are so many loveless, sexless, hopeless marriages that the government does not try to control... so why should they interfere in a marriage just because 2 men or 2 women are marrying? Who is to say that 2 women or 2 men cannot be just as happy (or happier) than the typical heterosexual couple?

I cannot imagine someone telling me that I could not marry Philip. How would you feel if someone told you that you could not marry your soulmate? It is outrageous.

I know that a lot of people who support gay marriage do not support polygamy. I do. I am not saying that polygamy is going to work for every family. However, I think that people should be able to make their own decisions on how to form their families (within reason -- no family should be allowed to harm their spouse(s) or child(ren)). I think it could be perfectly reasonable for man to have more than one wife or for a woman to have more than one husband. Think of the financial gains for having more than one or two breadwinners in a family. Think of the added help with household chores. Think of the added support for the children in the family.

I know that most people think of the clans that do horrible things to women and children, but this does not have to be the way all polygamous families work. Those clans are disgusting. That's not what I mean when I talk about polygamy. I don't want to see forced marriages or abuse. I'm just saying that polygamy could work in a healthy way.

There is a huge adultery problem in the U.S. I do not condone it, and I would never cheat on my partner, but there is a part of me who understands why some people do seek sex outside of their marriage. People crave variety. If there were multiple partners in a family, that desire for variety could possibly be met (maybe).

Again, I don't think this would work for everyone (or even most people). I don't know very many people who I think could handle a polygamous lifestyle. It would require a certain kind of person to understand and not become jealous of the other wives/husbands in the family. However, I think that people who can be a part of a healthy, polygamous family should be able to do so.

Blech! Now that I've got that all out of my system, I feel much better. Please do comment on the post whether you agree or disagree with anything I've said here. I look forward to seeing opinions! :)

Trust and Secrets

I am not a person of many secrets. I mean, I keep to myself for the most part, but there aren't a lot of juicy details that people would really care about anyway. However, there are a few secrets that I have and hold dear. There are not many people that I would trust with those secrets.

There is one secret in particular that I told someone. I expected that person to keep my confidence and not tell anyone that secret. I thought that my trust was well placed considering that it was my own father that I told. I was wrong.

It came to my attention today that my dad told my secret to not just one person, but SEVERAL people. Not only that, but those people are known for not being able to keep secrets themselves. Why? I don't really know. My mom says it's because he just can't keep a secret. I don't see that as an adequate excuse.

I am fuming. First of all, just because someone told the secret. Second of all, because it was my dad. There are few people that I trust as it is. That's one less person.

Not only that, but now I can't have my mother as a confidant either because I know that she will tell my dad any secrets that I tell her. I understand that. I tell Philip everything. However, I also know that I can trust Philip to never tell a soul if I ask him not to.

I don't care if you don't think a secret is important or not. You should never give up a person's secrets. If someone tells me something in confidence, I will take it to my grave. I have held other people's secrets for years. I don't understand how people can break their friend's or family member's trust so easily.

I am angry. I am hurt. My muscles are all tense and my head is killing me because of it. I just don't understand.

My Views: Religion

Recently, I have been asked quite often what exactly I believe when it comes to religion. My views are simple but complex. And, what I mean by that is, I am still not solidly sure as to exactly what I believe. So, technically I guess you would define me as agnostic.

I believe in a higher being. I choose to call that higher being God. I used to be Christian. However, I could not believe in many tenants of the religion. The biggest thing being the resurrection. Even after I accepted that I was a heretic (at the very least), I still held out hope that I could be a Christian. There is a lot of pressure in our country for people to be Christian. Others are different and looked down upon. Besides that, I was comfortable with that title. It's what I had always been. It was scary to think about being something other than Christian.

Peer pressure and comfort weren't the only reasons I stayed. I love Jesus. I believe that Jesus existed; I know that he was a real person. And, I think that the teachings of Jesus were wonderful and amazing. He showed real love towards his fellow humans. He was compassionate and understanding and forgiving. He was a truly good person. I just couldn't believe that he was anything more than human.

So, I clung to that title of Christian. It was only just recently that I accepted that I am not really Christian. I accept that I am agnostic. On a good day, I consider myself a pluralist. I take the ideas that I like from all sorts of religions and use them to make sense of the higher being that I believe in. There are ideas that I believe in from Christianity to Buddhism to Islam to Hinduism to Judaism and many other religions.

I am (and always have been) fascinated by religion (probably why I ended up being a Religion & Philosophy major in college). Lately I have not spent as much time pondering religion. I think that it is out of business and fear. First, I've got a lot going on, so there isn't as much time for pondering. Second, I've become fearful that if I look closely, I may come too close to the line between atheism and agnosticism. I don't want to lose my belief in a higher being. But, as of late, I've been less and less able to come up with reasons why I still believe.

I guess I am just going on faith. So, for the time being, I believe in a higher being. I don't really know much beyond that. I try to be as good of a human being as I can be (despite the fact that I don't believe in heaven or hell -- I don't think that a good and loving God would send anyone to hell and I just can't fathom a heaven after life).

I am currently content to exist as agnostic. I am living my life without knowing... but, in reality, who can really KNOW.

My Views

I've thought about this and I'd like to do a series on my beliefs; everything from religion to abortion to parenting. Hopefully this will mean that for the next few weeks, I'll be blogging more regularly. But, no guarantees.

I want all of my readers to know that I mean no offense to anyone. I only mean to express my views on a range of topics. If you disagree, feel free to comment and give your point of view. Please try to be respectful (as I will try to be). If you comment and put forth an argument, I will make every attempt to respond to you. After all, I enjoy a good intellectual battle. ;)

Along the same lines, if you agree, please feel free to share as well. If you have questions or would like me to explain further, just comment and I'll try my best to clarify.

Now, let the opinions flow! :D

So we meet again... Treadmill.

I hate to run. However, I know it's good for me. It's the exercise that makes me feel the best. And, even though I hate every second of it while I'm doing it, it doesn't really take up that much time to get a good workout.

Earlier this year, I was doing a fantastic job of running. I pushed myself really hard. Well, I pushed too hard. I got shin splints. When I look back on it, I know I was crazy. I went from not running at all to running 5 days a week. I built up to about 3 miles a night very quickly. My legs just couldn't handle it. I had to take a break from running.

Then we had the packing, traveling, and moving. Once we got settled in Colorado, it was the middle of summer and REALLY hot and dry. Besides that, I hate running in public. Especially when I'm out of shape.

Well, Philip got me a treadmill as an early Christmas present. Tonight was my first night back. I had planned to just walk a mile or so as a starting point... really just ease into it this time. Well, that didn't happen. As soon as I got on the treadmill, I didn't want to take it easy. I wanted to see how bad of shape I was in.

So, I ran for 10 minutes straight. I probably could have done more, but I remembered that I was supposed to be taking in easy. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a piece of cake. At about the 7 minute mark, I started to get winded... but, I pushed through and I got my second wind and continued on to the 10 minute mark. And then I walked for a few minutes to cool down.

Now I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't want to push myself too hard, but I also don't want to lose interest because I'm not working hard enough. It's difficult to figure out how hard to push. I think I'm going to take a break tomorrow and then run again on Thursday. So, twice this week. Then maybe Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday the week after. Then I'll figure out where to go from there.

Hopefully this time will have better results than last time... meaning, no shin splints! Wish me luck! :)

"Top Exit Strategies from an Abusive Relationship with Your Government "

That is the title of an article I just read regarding the state of our government. The author, Simon Black, gives an alternative to those of us who are outraged by the way our government is turning in the wrong direction. He says that we should just leave.

I know some people will get a chuckle out of that. I didn't. Not because I think that Black is crazy, but because I've already thought of this alternative. It's something that I have seriously been considering recently.

It breaks my heart to think of moving to a new country. However, I also know that I will not raise my children in a police state where they will have no rights. I want my children to have opportunity and liberty... like I have been fortunate enough to have up to recent years.

I am hoping that things will settle down. I'm hoping that the country will come to its senses. I am hoping that the TSA will be shut down and that people will realize that journalism is not terrorism. I am hoping for the best with every fiber of my being.

However, I also know that with so many sheeple in this country, it isn't likely. I don't want to be here if the shit really hits the fan. It terrifies me that people do not see that the government is gradually moving towards a police state. The government is slowly adjusting and the sheeple are not outraged as they should be. I am terrified that one day I will wake up and all of my rights will be gone.

So, I honestly have considered where I would go should I need to find a new home. I've mostly considered South American countries, like Chile. I will further my investigations into residency possibilities should I feel that the situation is worsening... I really hope that it does not come to that. However, should it, I will look on the positive. I've always wanted to really learn a new language. That would certainly give me the opportunity. ;)

Not Home for the Holidays

This will be the first year that I will be unable to spend Christmas with my family. It's depressing. I am staying in Colorado with Philip. He can't get any time off work for Christmas, and my family is over a thousand miles away from here. So, getting home for the holidays is not an option.

I really do want to spend Christmas with Philip. I love him and he is my world. However, I've been homesick recently and not being able to go home for Christmas is really getting to me. I haven't seen my parents and sister since July. I haven't seen the rest of my family since May.

Before we moved here, I was about 700 miles away from my family. I still managed to see them every month or two. To be fair, during that time, I was unemployed. However, when I was working, I still managed to see them every 2 to 4 months.

And even when I wasn't seeing my family as often, I was surrounded by friends and roommates. I've had difficulty finding friends in Keenesburg. All of our neighbors have families. And, I work in downtown Denver with 3 other people; my boss and 2 maintenance guys, one who does not speak English. I really like the guys I work with and my neighbors but they aren't really best friend material.

I love the holidays. I love baking, shopping, giving, receiving. I love the decorations and the love. I love the happiness that the holidays bring. I'm just having more trouble than normal getting into the holiday spirit this year. When I'm buying presents this year, I am having them shipped directly to my family. I won't get to see their faces when they open presents. I won't get to have dinner with all of them.

I am incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful man to spend my holidays and every day with. He is loving, supportive, smart, funny, and just perfect. I love him so much. I just wish I could have the best of both worlds and spend the holidays with BOTH my family and Philip. Hopefully next year we will be able to take some time off work to see our families for the holidays.

Future Nurses/Teachers

I have a TON of Facebook friends who are in nursing school or are future teachers. Because of this, I am frightened for my future and the future of our children.

It terrifies me that a majority of some of those nursing school people's posts are about failing a test or even a class. These are the people who may have my life in their hands at some point in the near future. Should they really be doing something that they are failing at or at best, barely passing? I know that there is a nursing shortage, but I really don't want my life to be in the hands of someone who just slid by in nursing school. I want my life in the hands of someone who knows what they are doing!

With the future teachers, it frightens me that they post about how much they hate classes or failed some psychology/sociology class or don't like their students when they are student teaching. That does not bode well for when they have a classroom of their own to run. Do we really want our children to be shaped by these people? We already have bad teachers; it's time to find the good ones! Our futures depend on it! However, since it is unlikely, it's just one more reason why I plan to homeschool my future children!

Again, I want to point out that it's not ALL of my nursing/teacher friends who are like this. There are a few that I am proud to say will make wonderful, hardworking nurses and teachers. I would gladly put my life in those nurses' hands or put my children's future in those teachers' hands. I just wish everyone would pick a career that suits them... instead of just picking the road that they think they should take (i.e. friends are doing it, lots of jobs available, can get financial aid). I'm glad that I at least have some friends who are going to make capable nurses and teachers... otherwise I might lose hope in all nurses and teachers!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Days 25-30

November 25: I am thankful that our friend Richard was able to travel to see us for Thanksgiving. He spent a week with us and it was great to have a visitor and great to see an old friend.

November 26: I am thankful for sales! Black Friday was successful. After much hassle, we were able to get a foosball table for free from Sears. We had to use a few hours of precious Black Friday time, but it was definitely worth it!

November 27: I am thankful for REAL Christmas trees. They get me in the holiday spirit so much. They make the whole house smell like pine. It is wonderful. :) (Even if we did have to spend a bunch of money on a tree that we didn't get to cut down ourselves or have shaken or baled-- damn misleading websites! Next year we will find a farm to cut our own down! For now, this tree is wonderful! A beautiful Frasier Fir).

November 28: I am thankful for love. I know that is generic, but it's true. I am thankful that there are still good people in the world. I am thankful that I am lucky enough to count a few of those good people as my family and friends. I am thankful to have love to get me through any hard times I face. I have been slightly depressed with the state of the world lately and the love of my family and friends has helped tremendously.

November 29: I am thankful for Amazon.com. Yeah, it sounds silly. However, they make everything much simpler for me. Philip and I are unable to travel to our families' homes this year. So, it makes things much easier that Amazon has free shipping. We can just ship gifts directly to our families' homes! So simple. :)

November 30: I am thankful for contests and hockey! I won 2 club level tickets to the Avs game. They lost in overtime, but we had a fantastic time. So, maybe I should just be thankful for good luck? ;)