Recently, I have been asked quite often what exactly I believe when it comes to religion. My views are simple but complex. And, what I mean by that is, I am still not solidly sure as to exactly what I believe. So, technically I guess you would define me as agnostic.
I believe in a higher being. I choose to call that higher being God. I used to be Christian. However, I could not believe in many tenants of the religion. The biggest thing being the resurrection. Even after I accepted that I was a heretic (at the very least), I still held out hope that I could be a Christian. There is a lot of pressure in our country for people to be Christian. Others are different and looked down upon. Besides that, I was comfortable with that title. It's what I had always been. It was scary to think about being something other than Christian.
Peer pressure and comfort weren't the only reasons I stayed. I love Jesus. I believe that Jesus existed; I know that he was a real person. And, I think that the teachings of Jesus were wonderful and amazing. He showed real love towards his fellow humans. He was compassionate and understanding and forgiving. He was a truly good person. I just couldn't believe that he was anything more than human.
So, I clung to that title of Christian. It was only just recently that I accepted that I am not really Christian. I accept that I am agnostic. On a good day, I consider myself a pluralist. I take the ideas that I like from all sorts of religions and use them to make sense of the higher being that I believe in. There are ideas that I believe in from Christianity to Buddhism to Islam to Hinduism to Judaism and many other religions.
I am (and always have been) fascinated by religion (probably why I ended up being a Religion & Philosophy major in college). Lately I have not spent as much time pondering religion. I think that it is out of business and fear. First, I've got a lot going on, so there isn't as much time for pondering. Second, I've become fearful that if I look closely, I may come too close to the line between atheism and agnosticism. I don't want to lose my belief in a higher being. But, as of late, I've been less and less able to come up with reasons why I still believe.
I believe in a higher being. I choose to call that higher being God. I used to be Christian. However, I could not believe in many tenants of the religion. The biggest thing being the resurrection. Even after I accepted that I was a heretic (at the very least), I still held out hope that I could be a Christian. There is a lot of pressure in our country for people to be Christian. Others are different and looked down upon. Besides that, I was comfortable with that title. It's what I had always been. It was scary to think about being something other than Christian.
Peer pressure and comfort weren't the only reasons I stayed. I love Jesus. I believe that Jesus existed; I know that he was a real person. And, I think that the teachings of Jesus were wonderful and amazing. He showed real love towards his fellow humans. He was compassionate and understanding and forgiving. He was a truly good person. I just couldn't believe that he was anything more than human.
So, I clung to that title of Christian. It was only just recently that I accepted that I am not really Christian. I accept that I am agnostic. On a good day, I consider myself a pluralist. I take the ideas that I like from all sorts of religions and use them to make sense of the higher being that I believe in. There are ideas that I believe in from Christianity to Buddhism to Islam to Hinduism to Judaism and many other religions.
I am (and always have been) fascinated by religion (probably why I ended up being a Religion & Philosophy major in college). Lately I have not spent as much time pondering religion. I think that it is out of business and fear. First, I've got a lot going on, so there isn't as much time for pondering. Second, I've become fearful that if I look closely, I may come too close to the line between atheism and agnosticism. I don't want to lose my belief in a higher being. But, as of late, I've been less and less able to come up with reasons why I still believe.
I guess I am just going on faith. So, for the time being, I believe in a higher being. I don't really know much beyond that. I try to be as good of a human being as I can be (despite the fact that I don't believe in heaven or hell -- I don't think that a good and loving God would send anyone to hell and I just can't fathom a heaven after life).
I am currently content to exist as agnostic. I am living my life without knowing... but, in reality, who can really KNOW.
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