Many of the people I knew from high school have gotten married or even had children. Many of those have even divorced. Some of them have been married and divorced multiple times. For the most part, I haven't really been surprised. It never seems that people have the right idea about marriage. It's always, "well, if this doesn't work out, there's always divorce." Our society has gone from thinking that marriage is eternal to thinking that marriage is disposable.
I firmly believe that marriage is forever. Once I take that vow, I will do what needs to be done to make a marriage work. It's a promise that I intend to keep.
The divorce rate is crazy high. I think it's because people have the wrong ideas about what marriage is supposed to be about. Marriage is not going to be all butterflies and rainbows. There are going to be problems. They have to be worked through. I think people also get married way too soon. People get married when they've had six months of bliss. People should be together for at least two years before getting married. And two years in high school or two years in college does not count. They have to be two years in the real world. The world with jobs/careers, paying bills, and having a real, grown-up life.
Anyway, as I was saying before, most of the time, I am not surprised when someone I know gets divorced. Disappointed, yes, but surprised, no. However, every now and then someone I know who seems to have really thought things through and had it all together gets divorced. And no matter how much or how little I know them, it hurts me.
It crushes that much more hope out of me. It leaves that lingering feeling that maybe no one really can make it. Maybe it's just too much to ask of two people. And that is a seriously depressing thought to me.
So, I usually wallow in that for a while, but then I still have to come back to that hope that I have. It can be done. I have seen it. I know it's out there and that it's possible. I have seen people who have been married for fifty years and are still happy despite everything that has happened in the time of their marriage. And that gives me hope. It is possible. And I will have it. :)
I firmly believe that marriage is forever. Once I take that vow, I will do what needs to be done to make a marriage work. It's a promise that I intend to keep.
The divorce rate is crazy high. I think it's because people have the wrong ideas about what marriage is supposed to be about. Marriage is not going to be all butterflies and rainbows. There are going to be problems. They have to be worked through. I think people also get married way too soon. People get married when they've had six months of bliss. People should be together for at least two years before getting married. And two years in high school or two years in college does not count. They have to be two years in the real world. The world with jobs/careers, paying bills, and having a real, grown-up life.
Anyway, as I was saying before, most of the time, I am not surprised when someone I know gets divorced. Disappointed, yes, but surprised, no. However, every now and then someone I know who seems to have really thought things through and had it all together gets divorced. And no matter how much or how little I know them, it hurts me.
It crushes that much more hope out of me. It leaves that lingering feeling that maybe no one really can make it. Maybe it's just too much to ask of two people. And that is a seriously depressing thought to me.
So, I usually wallow in that for a while, but then I still have to come back to that hope that I have. It can be done. I have seen it. I know it's out there and that it's possible. I have seen people who have been married for fifty years and are still happy despite everything that has happened in the time of their marriage. And that gives me hope. It is possible. And I will have it. :)
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