Christmas

You'd think that I'd update more, since I have loads of time on my hands... because I'm still unemployed... but, I don't. Probably because, I don't actually have a lot going on right now. But, for those of you who are interested, here's what actually IS going on in my life:

1. Thanksgiving was awesome. I made a delicious meal and I got to meet Philip's mom and stepdad. They're pretty cool people. :)

2. I went Black Friday shopping for the first time this year. I had a great time! We got a lot of really good deals and got a big chunk of our shopping done. :)

3. Shopping. Oh, shopping. I've done so much shopping recently. I have my family (mom, dad, sister, aunt, cousin, etc.), Philip's family (mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, grandma, grandpa, nanny, pappy, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc.), friends, and Philip. Phew. It can be exhausting! Mostly because since I am unemployed, I have to really find the DEALS. haha... and boy have I! I get paid on Monday and I'm broke by Tuesday, but this Christmas is totally worth it. I'm pretty proud of what I've got to show for it. I'm really excited for my mom and dad's "big" present. I'm not going to say what it is on here, just in case my mom actually reads my blog... but, it's AWESOME! And, they're going to love it. :)

Philip actually gets three "big" presents because we are have 3 or 4 Christmas gatherings. One of them I ordered on eBay. I got an absolutely AMAZING deal on the gift, but it didn't arrive in time for him to open it at our first Christmas gathering in Pennsylvania tomorrow. I'm really upset about it. It was supposed to arrive before now. Oh, well. I'm just switching the presents for Indiana and Pennsylvania because the present should be here in time for actual Christmas in Indiana. :) Since I know Philip never actually reads this, I'll go ahead and say what it is. It's a Sopranos Complete Series Gift Set. He has wanted one for a while. It's normally REALLY effing expensive, but I got it for less than a quarter of what it would have cost at Best Buy. :)

I also got a great deal on his other present. I ordered it on Amazon when they had a Christmas deal going on... over 40% off, baby! :) I also have a free trial of Amazon Prime (I highly recommend this if you buy from Amazon frequently!), so I got it in 2 days with FREE upgrade to UPS 2nd Day Air. :) It's a D-Rex Interactive Dinosaur. If you haven't seen this, you definitely need see it. It's pretty cool. Philip really wants one. He mostly wants to scare Jack with it... you're really surprised about that, right? lol

And, finally, I am getting him a road trip. hahaha... we're taking a road trip to Fort Wayne, Indiana at the end of January. It's for a concert. Three of Philip's favorite bands are playing: Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, and Flyleaf. I'm also a fan of all three. Plus, we can stay at my parents for free while we're there and we can see my puppies for a while. :) I really miss them a lot.

I also got him some smaller presents as well. It's going to be an awesome Christmas. :)

4. As I said, tomorrow, we are headed to PA to visit his mom's side of the family. We were in PA visiting his dad's side of the family just over a month ago. It was nice. :) And then, we'll be in Indiana for actual Christmas. And, we're having 2 Christmas parties with friends. One will probably be before Christmas and one will be on January 2nd. Phew. I'm going to be Christmas-ed out! :)

5. I will be in Indiana this year for my parent's New Year's Eve partay. :D I'm pretty excited. I haven't been able to go since high school!


I think that about sums everything up for now. Any questions?

Colts vs. Patriots

I'm sure most people know that I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan. This means that I seriously despise the New England Patriots. Last weekend, the Colts played the Patriots. The game was incredibly intense. And AWESOME. The Colts won. That win extended their streak to 9-0 this year (they're undefeated... they played and won again yesterday and are now 10-0).

Peyton Manning, the Colts quarterback, is an awesome player. He's also an all around good person. He's easy-going and is known for his charitable contributions.

He even cleans up pretty well. He looks like a clean-cut, all American guy:










The Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, is known for leaving his pregnant girlfriend to date a supermodel. And he plays for he Patriots. So, he's clearly pure EVIL.

That is why it is completely outrageous that he is so completely gorgeous:








It just doesn't seem right. He is hot. But, he is evil. So, Manning > Brady.

Life...

Ummm... so, yeah. Life. It's going on. lol

I don't have a whole lot to say. I'm still jobless. But, I love it. Not the not having a job part; the not having to go to a job that I hate part. I'm getting closer to figuring out what I want to do with my life. I can feel it. :) I feel great. I'm happy. I'm doing what I want. I'm broke, but that's just fine by me. It's really freeing actually. I don't know what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go, but I know it's going to be awesome.

I've realized that I've grown apart from most of the friends that I know here. It's sad in a way, but also, it's kind of freeing, too. No one expects anything of me. I have Philip and I've become very close to Brandon, but I've grown away from most everyone else. It's probably for the best since I plan to leave next summer... probably. lol... another uncertainty.

I'm ready to move forward. It's no secret that I'm pretty tired of North Carolina. I can't stand the summers. The heat is not my friend. And, I feel like I've found what I came here to find. I'm ready for something new. And luckily, so is Philip. Since he knows what he wants, I've told him to figure out where he wants to go to school and we will just move... Unless it's Florida. lol Fortunately, he doesn't want to live in Florida either. :)

Most likely, it will be Colorado. It's someplace we both want to go. But, that may be saved for later if he finds a school he really wants to go to. It doesn't matter to me. I'm ready for new people, new places, and new adventures. I have a gypsy soul and it's telling me it's coming close to time to move on.

Someone asked me the other day, "Aren't you scared?" The answer is yes. But that's not the question people should ask. If I never did anything I wasn't a little scared or nervous about, I wouldn't leave the house. I could die driving to the grocery store. I could fall down the stairs outside my apartment. Or, I could move someplace new and it could be awful. But, I'm not willing to give up all the awesome adventures I could be having for fear of something bad happening.

For all I know, I will move someplace new and I will not like the weather or I will have to work someplace I'm not thrilled about. Or, I could move someplace new and meet some of the best friends I could ever ask for or make the best memories of my life. I'm not ready to give up on the possibilities of those good things just because I'm nervous about the bad possibilities.

It's going to be awesome.

Halloween 2009

I had a lovely Halloween. My costume finally came together at the last minute. I finished it up the day before. :) Here are a few pictures of the finished products...

Little Red Riding Hood:









The Big Bad Wolf:










Pretty good, right? Everyone loved our costumes. And I'm pretty darn proud of them, too. :D

Taylor Swift

I saw a Bumper Sticker on Facebook a while back that said "Taylor Swift sings about my life," or something like that. At the time I thought it was funny. That was when that song "Love Story" was really popular and basically the only song they played on the radio. The song was really catchy so I found myself singing along but it really bothered me because I didn't really like the lyrics. I couldn't help myself though. That song is SO catchy.

And ridiculous. A few of the lyrics:

Little did I know
That you were Romeo
You were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said to stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go

Most of my friends know that I hate the story of Romeo and Juliet. It's ridiculous. It's not a story about love. It's a story about youth and lust. And, it's not some awesome ideal that people should aspire to. Barely know someone and commit suicide together... not my idea of a love story. Also, this lyric portrays the girl as weak. Yuck.

Some more:

Romeo save me
They're trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby, just say yes

If the "love" is so difficult and people are telling you that he's bad news, chances are, you should listen to them.

Another:

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all i really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Seriously? I mean, a few lines ago, Daddy hated the boy and now he's agreed to let you marry his daughter? Not that I think dads have the right to "give their daughters away" to a suitable husband, but the lyrics don't make sense. Also, at the beginning of this, she was losing faith in him and wasn't sure they were going to make it, but then he proposes and everything is peachy again? WTF?? That doesn't make sense. If you can't make a relationship work, how do you make a marriage work?

Ugh. It's disgusting. And yet, I still sing the damn song when I hear it on the radio. It pisses me off. Damn you, Taylor Swift, for having such an awful but catchy song.

Anyway, back to the bumper sticker. I listened to a song by Taylor Swift a few weeks ago called "Fifteen." And it really does talk about my life. My high school life, that is.

A few lyrics:

'Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes you head spin 'round but
In your life you'll do things greater
Than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen
When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna
Marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

Those lyrics definitely speak to me. When I was 15, I thought that I was going to marry my high school sweetheart, Michael. He was my world. And completely awful for me. ♫♪ But, I didn't know that at 15. ♪♫ And after I finally broke up with him for the 87th time and it was really and truly over, I really did wish I could go back and shake some sense into myself. I know now that nothing would have turned out the way it is now if I wouldn't have done what I did, so I don't want to change it. It's still not a proud point of my life though.

So, I could say that the bumper sticker was true for me now, but I don't want people to confuse it with the "Love Story" song... that one is stupid. lol

Shorts... Oh, so very, very wrong...

I really, really, REALLY hate when people wear shorts with things written across the butt. I think it's really tacky and ridiculous. I think it's worse when it's really young girls who are wearing them. I mean, everyone knows that people only wear them to draw attention to their butts. And why should we be drawing attention to underage girls' butts??

Anyway, the point is really just that we shouldn't write things on our butts. Don't do it. Don't. Do. It.

If you are going to do it, at least stick with something that someone (albeit, no one in their right mind) would find cute, like "Princess" or "Angel."

This is really just going too far though:










You should never have the word "Cocks" written across your buttocks. NEVER.

Heroes...

Earlier tonight (or last night... depends on your view of the time), the season premiere of Heroes took place. I did not watch it. *sigh*

I was really desperately looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I had been trying to get Philip into the show. He only gave in last weekend. That means that he is only half-way through season 2 at this point. So, I am waiting for him to catch up before I begin watching season 4. It's honestly killing me, but he's getting through them quickly and it's kind of nice to brush up on previous seasons before jumping into season 4.

Hopefully I will only miss a few episodes before we get on track. *Fingers Crossed*

If you haven't watched Heroes before, DO IT. I command it. It is awesome.


*** SPOILER ALERT ***
*** SPOILER ALERT ***


Ummm... if Sylar is not Sylar very soon in season 4, I am going to be PISSED. I effing love Sylar. He's my favorite Heroes character. And Nathan Petrelli is probably my least favorite character. So, the fact that he's replaced Sylar does not make me happy. At all. At. All.

Halloween / Costumes

I know. It's still WAY early, but I'm working on my costume. I normally start preparing for Halloween very last minute and can't get a decent costume together in time. So, this year, I am starting really early so that my costume can actually be what I really want it to be. :)

So, what am I going as? Well, Philip and I decided to go as a pair. I came up with a few dozen ideas to start with and asked him to narrow it down. That went absolutely nowhere. So, I narrowed it down to four costume ideas that I actually liked. They were: Leia and Han Solo; a mermaid and a fisherman ("Catch of the Day"); Mario (Me) and Peach (Philip); and Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.

Philip was taking too long to decide so I told him that Little Red Riding Hood was my favorite and asked if he would be completely opposed to the idea. He wasn't; he was fine with it. So, that's what we're going to be. :)

So, I began shopping for my costume. I don't want to buy one already put together for many reasons. I don't like that they're cheaply made. I also don't like that they're completely slutty. I don't want my butt hanging out of my costume. I don't think that you have to be half naked in order for a costume to be sexy.

So, I made a goal for myself this year. I want to make a costume that looks sexy and elegant without looking completely slutty. I also want it to look original. I decided to go with a more dark/gothic look for my interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood.

I'm starting with a black underbust corset over a ruffly-ish white long sleeve shirt. Then I will have a full length blood-red hooded cape. My skirt will be checked black/red/white fabric over a roughly knee-length black petticoat. And finally, I will be wearing black fishnet stockings under mid-calf black high heeled boots (gothic).

I'm not sure if it will look the same in your eye as it does in mine, so here are some pictures of what I'm thinking about:

Life... and love.

I will be in Gatlinburg for the weekend. A long weekend. A FOUR DAY WEEKEND. Oh my goodness... I can't even express how excited I am about this weekend. My parents and my sister are coming down and we're going to go hiking, shopping, and white-water rafting. And Philip is coming with me. It doesn't get much better! :)

I found someone to take my job. I've been training her for just over a week now. It's going really well. I think she'll fit well... for at least a while. She can keep the guys in line... I hope. And she has no attachments to the family, so she shouldn't be torn in a million different directions. Also, she has lots of administrative experience and is used to dealing with bulls**t and having to babysit her bosses.

I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. Sometimes I think about Philip and wonder how I ever stayed with any other boyfriend. I mean, Philip is wonderful to me. He tells me that he only treats me the way that I deserve to be treated. Why did I put up with any less?? lol

The dogs. Always so much drama. Ugh. Hopefully I can figure out something to do with them. I don't want to find them new homes because they are MY babies. But, Joe makes things difficult a lot of the time.

Joe. I swear, things go up and down more than a rollercoaster. Some days I think he hates me and then the next day, things are peachy-keen and he wants to be friends. I hope that things will be different when I'm not working with him anymore. Then we will either have to be real friends or just completely go our separate ways.

Most of the time now, I wonder why we were together for so long. I don't mean that in a mean way. I just mean that now, I can't figure out what I saw in him. We are so VERY different. He drives me crazy for the most part. I still care for him, but sometimes I sit down and think about everything we went through and wonder how we made it as long as we did. The heart is a scary thing. I stayed with Joe through a lot of crappiness and unhappiness and gave everything I had to try to make the relationship work. But, I don't honestly know why. The only thing I can come up with is love. I loved Joe with every fiber of my being. But why were we in love? What made us fall in love? What made us stay in love? It wasn't what we had in common... we actually had/have very little in common. We mostly just had a mutual love for each other in common.

I used to think that was fine. I thought every relationship would require a lot of sacrifice and that being different made things interesting. What I didn't realize is that I was giving FAR too much of myself to the relationship and not getting nearly enough out of it. I'm a sucker for the underdog. Stray puppies, geeky teenagers, losing teams, or anything else that needs help... I get sucked in. I can't look away. I have to give what I can to help. That goes for relationships, too, apparently.

I have recently realized that my previous two boyfriends were sucking the life out of me. I gave everything to the relationships and had nothing left for myself. It's not a problem for me to be giving freely to a relationship but it's unhealthy if the partner is not reciprocating. It royally sucks to be taken for granted.

I think it's probably never going to sink in for Michael, but I think that Joe sees what went wrong with our relationship and what he needs to do differently to make a relationship work. And, I learned things from both of those relationships. It's just taking a while to sink in... ;) I can't let my partners walk all over me. I need a give and take relationship. Not just a give relationship. And, I can't let love make all my decisions for me. Love is not enough to keep a relationship alive. It requires work from both partners and for there to be some common ground. A relationship cannot work if only one person is in it.

Philip and I have been dating for almost 4 months. We have yet to have a single argument. I didn't know that was possible. Seriously. I honestly did not know what a healthy relationship was before now. I thought I did. And it scares me because I think there are probably lots of people out there who think they are in healthy relationships and they really aren't. And that makes me sad.

Philip is supportive and sweet and loving and thankful and generous and easy-going and wonderful. Ugh. I'm disgustingly in love with him. He makes it easy to be in a relationship. He wants me to be happy and I want him to be happy. And we make each other happy. And it's so effing wonderful... it's indescribable. I'm sure we disgust people. lol We just have a lot in common and have common goals and it's just SO EASY. How can it be so easy? I love it. :)

Long Time No Talk

Yeah, so... I've been busy.

I hate my job so much. I have just under a month to go. I've been trying to find someone to take my place. I put up an ad on craigslist. I was going to put up ads in the Charlotte Observer and the Gaston Gazette, but they were hundreds of dollars a piece and we received over 100 responses in the first day the ad was up on craigslist. It was insane. By the time I took the ad down, we had received over 250 resumes.

I thought it was kind of cool at first. I though, "Hey! I shouldn't have a problem finding someone to take my place with all of these people applying." I was so wrong. It took me about a week to narrow down the resumes. In the end, I came up with 23 people who were actually qualified and submitted a quality resume/cover letter. That's less than 10% who passed the first test. And I wasn't even THAT picky. I mean, after I found only a few in the first 100, I decided to lower my standards a bit.

I never knew that it was that hard to write a resume. I mean, with the internet, even if you don't know what to put, you should be able to look it up and find out pretty quickly. But, no. That's apparently too much to ask of a lot of people.

And, how hard is it to click Spell Check? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I have never been so frustrated. Who submits a resume without reviewing it first? How bad could you really want the job if you aren't willing to put forth a tiny bit of effort to make it look professional?? The hard part was already done. You've got your resume all typed up. All you have to do is CLICK SPELL CHECK!!! Any resume that I found spelling errors automatically went into the "No" pile. They aren't worth my time. [Sidenote: this spelling error HURT me so badly -- expeerense. Not kidding. I wish I was.]

Another tip: ALWAYS include a cover letter with your resume. I thought this was common knowledge, but apparently it isn't. Also, "Hi. I'd like a job," is NOT an acceptable cover letter. Take some time. Put forth some effort. Your cover letter is the first thing I'm going to see about you. It should catch my attention. It should make you stand out so that I will remember you after I've gone through over 250 resumes. Sell yourself.

If you don't have the required experience or you don't fit the description of what someone wants from you, DO NOT APPLY. It's incredibly frustrating to put in an ad for a person with at least 2 years of experience in an administrative field and then get people who have never worked in admin submit resumes and WASTE my time.

It's okay to call to check on your resume. It shows initiative. It is not okay to call two or three times a day. It's excessive. And, I'll put you at the bottom even if you are most qualified because you are a royal pain in my ass. I said I'd get back to you by Tuesday. That means I'll get back to you by Tuesday. Leave me alone! Stalking doesn't make you more likely to get the job.

If you receive a notice that you are not going to be hired for the position, it is nice to send a thank you email or call to thank the person for letting you know. I had one person actually call and have a conversation and thank me for letting her know. She went back into the pile because she showed how professional and courteous she was and I also got to hear how she would sound to customers. It's inappropriate to call or email and tell the person hiring that they are crazy and pathetic and are going to be sorry or that it was their loss. It sounds petty and ridiculous. And it's a huge pain. And, if you ever had a chance of being reconsidered, you just lost it.

I hope that my frustration and pain can be of some service to you all in the future. Please, please, please do not make these mistakes when applying for a job. It's irritating and you will not succeed.

I'm ready to shoot myself in the foot and I haven't even made it to the interviews yet. Ugh. It's probably going to be painful. I'm going to scream if they don't show up wearing appropriate interview attire. Wish me luck... :S

Assisted Suicide

There was a story in the news recently about Sir Edward Downes. He was a famous orchestra conductor. He was going blind and deaf. His wife of 54 years was dying of cancer. So, they decided to commit suicide together. They flew to Zurich where there is an assisted suicide clinic and died together with their dignity still in tact.

A lot of people don't believe in suicide. They think it's morally wrong. I am opposed to killing, unless it's done in self defense (and even then, I prefer it as only a last resort). I believe this because I think it's wrong to take someone else's life away. However, if someone wants to take their own life, I think they should be able to. Don't get me wrong. I am not supporting suicide. I want people to get help for their problems and be at peace. What I am saying is, your life is yours to do what you wish. If you wish to end your life, you should have that choice.

I especially believe this to be true for the sick or elderly. If I have some awful disease which causes me unending pain or causes me to lose my dignity, I will want the option of ending my own life. And, I would prefer that there be an easy option. People shouldn't have to turn to shooting themselves or slitting their own wrists. Assisted suicide helps people go out on their own terms. With a little bit of dignity. And it's much easier to deal with. It's in a controlled environment under the supervision of a licensed professional.

I mean, for crying out loud, women can terminate the life growing inside of them, but people aren't allowed to take their own lives?? What sort of logic is that? We even kill our death row inmates in a humane manner (I do not agree with the death penalty, but at least they're going out with some dignity in a humane manner). And our pets; we take them to a vet and have them "put to sleep" when they are no longer able to live full and happy lives. But, we cannot extend this courtesy to our fellow men and women??

It just doesn't make sense to me. If I want to kill myself, I should be able to do so. If I need help, I should be able to ask for it. And the people I ask to help should not be persecuted for it. It's my life. I should be able to go out on my own terms; with dignity and peace. I hope that, should I ever feel the need to end my life, I will not have to go all the way to Switzerland to do so.

Strange Phone Call...

So, I work in an office. I answer phones all day long. Sometimes, the callers are jerks. Sometimes they're really nice. And, sometimes they're just crazy. Today, I got one of the crazies.

Me: Brooks Printing Service & Equipment. How may I help you?

Crazy: I need to speak to [insert name].

Me: I'm sorry sir, but I think you have the wrong number.

Crazy: No, I need to speak to [insert name].

Me: There is no one here by that name, sir.

Crazy: What do you mean?

Me: I'm sorry sir, but I've never even heard that name before. That person does not work here.

Crazy: I know he works there. He's worked there for 30 damned years.

Me: (I think, "We've only been in business since 1987, so I know that's not possible." lol) Are you sure that you have the right number, sir? This is Brooks Printing Service & Equipment.

Crazy: Yes, I have the right number. I'm telling you, he's worked at [insert company name] for 30 years.

Me: Sir, this is Brooks Printing Service & Equipment, not [insert company name].

Crazy: I know he works there. Well, I'll just call him on his damned cell phone. I think I've got the number.

Me: Ummm... thank you, sir.

I love the crazies. They make my day. :D

School? Maybe...

So, I've been giving my current situation a lot of thought. I really dislike my current job. It's completely unfulfilling and a pain. Most people probably know that I've been struggling to decide what I'm actually going to do with my life. Well, a while back I figured out what I really want to do: be a stay at home mom. But, since that's still several years down the road, I figured I should probably find something else to do with my life until then. lol

Joe and I spoke recently and we both think it would be a good idea for me to leave my job. He doesn't want me to be miserable either. :) The problem with that is that there aren't really many jobs out there that will allow me to pay my bills and still eat. :S Joe suggested that I go back to school. The problem with that was that I didn't really know what I would go back for. I mean, didn't I already say that I don't know what I want to do with my life for the time being??

Well, I've given it a lot of thought, and I think I may be decided. I'd like to go back to get my degree in Therapeutic Massage. It's something completely different from what I'm doing now, I'd actually be helping people, I would be working with lots of different people, and it would actually pay the bills. There are multiple different programs that I could do. They could take anywhere from 2 semesters to 17 months.

Okay, now for the problem with this: How am I going to be able to pay for this and afford to live?? haha... that, my friends, is my current dilemma. It's time to sit down and do some serious figuring. It's probably going to require a lot of sacrifice... especially since I'm currently pretty spoiled (I've had quite a bit of extra income in recent months because I had a downgrade in rent/utilities... due to the fact that my apartment is tiny and craptastic).

If I went back to school, I would have an odd schedule during the day, which would mean that I would have to find a job working nights/weekends. That also sucks, because it's pretty much the only time I see Philip. Also, those jobs tend to pay crap. Yuck.

So, I'm pretty frightened of what may be to come, but I'm also really excited that I may actually be stepping in the right direction to find some meaning in my work/life. :)

Harry Potter

Well, I finally finished Harry Potter last night. It took me a while to get through the first two books (they were really slow), but books three through seven were definitely exciting enough to keep me interested. :)

J.K. Rowling certainly doesn't have a problem killing people off. I spent quite a bit of time crying through books 5, 6, and 7 when she killed people off. Also, they were rather depressing. I know that book 7 ended on a happy note, but still, it was kind of hard to come back after how depressed it made me earlier in the book!

I've watched the first three movies, so far. Philip and I are watching movies 4 and 5 this weekend (I had never read the books or watched any of the movies before a few weeks ago... Philip wanted me to come with him to see movie 6 when it comes out next week, but I told him that I needed to read the books before I watched the movies). So, I will be caught up after this weekend. Number 6 comes out on the 15th, but Philip works nights and I work days, so we won't get to go see it until Friday the 17th. No biggie. Philip has no idea what happens. He just knows that I cried through a lot of 6 and 7 and that people are killed off. I'm interested to see how he feels about them.

Also, I would like to say this: I totally had Snape figured out. I knew I wasn't wrong. :)

And, now that I'm finished with Harry Potter, I can read the next installment of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series: Finger Lickin' Fifteen. I'm so excited. I've been waiting for it for months! :D After that, I think I will be starting Charlaine Harris' True Blood series, since I now watch the show. I'd like to see how they differ. And, I bought a few books at Books-A-Million a few weeks ago... a book about a woman who grew up in a LDS polygamous cult, a book about a man who's family was in concentration camps during the Holocaust, an Agatha Christie novel recommended to me by a friend, and a Wonder Woman graphic novel written by one of my favorite authors, Jodi Picoult. I shall be busy! :)

A Gypsy Soul? Apparently...

So, a few weeks ago, when I was moving into my new apartment, I started thinking about something. I have moved A LOT in the past few years. I'm starting to feel like a gypsy.

1. 1985 -- When I was born, my parents were living in an apartment in Plymouth, Indiana. We only lived there for the first month or so of my life.
2. 1985-2004 -- We moved to Rose Road in Plymouth, Indiana. I lived there until I left for college.
3. Fall 2004-Spring 2005 -- I lived in Woodson Dormitory at Catawba College.
4. Spring 2005 -- I moved to Stanback Dormitory at Catawba College for my second semester of my first year.
5. May-Jun 2005 -- I went home for a few weeks after my first year at Catawba, but then, after a few problems, I moved in with Joe's mother in China Grove, NC.
6. June 2005-July 2006 -- Joe's mom was a tad on the insane side, so Joe and I got an apartment in Salisbury on Woodson Street.
7. July 2006-May 2007 -- We moved right across the street from Catawba to Dr. Clapp's basement apartment on Summit Avenue.
8. May 2007-October 2008 -- We moved to Gastonia after Joe graduated to be closer to his work in Dallas.
9. ~Overlap~ August 2007-December 2008 -- I lived at Dr. Fuller's loft to house-sit/cat-sit for her while she was teaching at Harlaxton.
10. October 2008-May 2009 -- We moved to Shelby, North Carolina.
11. May 2009 -- When Joe and I broke up, I stayed in Charlotte for a few weeks before I found an apartment.
12. June 2009-Present -- I have an apartment in Belmont, North Carolina. I'm not really there very much, but it's my current address.

So, I started off slow. I spent the first 19 years of my life at the same address. And since then, I've moved A LOT. I've had a total of 12 addresses. Ten of those addresses have have occurred in the past 5 years. That's insanity. The funny thing? I'll probably be moving again in about 5 months when my lease is up. I will probably move to Charlotte and get a roommate. And then, after that lease is up, I will probably move again. And, in a few years, I plan to move to Colorado where it will be nice and cool in the summer and I will get lots and lots of snow in the winter. Like it should be. :D I guess I can't sit still for long... That will hopefully change in a few years. Then, I will hopefully be ready to settle down and start a family. :) I don't think my family would appreciate having to move every year... ;)

Goings on...

WARNING: This blog post is going to be completely random. :)

If you haven't seen Transformers: Rise of the Fallen, you need to. It's incredibly awesome. Philip, Joe, and I all agree, it's better than the first. And the first, it was awesome! :)

I'm going to see Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs on Friday night. :) In 3-D. It's going to be incredible (In case you didn't already know, I am a HUGE Ice Age fan).

I'm going to go see fireworks in downtown Charlotte on Saturday night. :)

Philip and I will be making the journey to Plymouth, Indiana on the weekend of July 24th. And, Philip will get to, officially, meet my parents (they met once for a few minutes at my graduation). But, he talks to my mom about as much as I do (the wonders of Facebook), so that meeting will probably be anti-climactic. ;)

People continue to make too much of our situation. Joe and I are still really good friends. I think he's crazy (he's aware), and we are completely incompatible in a relationship (we've discussed this topic quite a bit... how did we ever stay together for over 4 and a half years?), but we are still close. We still work together and we still talk outside of work (sometimes for hours on the phone). And, Joe and Philip are still friends.

However, people still imagine that there is some sort of hostility between us. They're trying to pick sides or egg on drama. It's completely ridiculous. I don't understand why people think it's any of their business. I was angry earlier this week over some stupid crap that was happening, but I've decided just to let it go. If people want to be crazy, I can't stop them.

How is it that some people can love drama so much?? It hurts me. I can't handle drama. Some people seem to feed off of it, though. Even if there is drama which in no way involves them, they find a way to make themselves a part of it. And there are people who want to be miserable. I don't understand it! The more bad things that happen, the happier those people are... It's disturbing. How do people live like that?

I'm looking for somebody to go with me to the Aerosmith/ZZ Top concert on July 9th at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Charlotte. Is anyone interested?? If so, give me a call or send me a message. I really want to go, but I don't want to go alone (there will probably be a lot of creepers there and I'm not very scary... lol).

I've finished reading the first five Harry Potter books. I'm on the sixth. And I've watched the first 2.5 movies. :) Philip and I are going to see the sixth movie when it comes out.

I'm going to see Coldplay in concert for my birthday. :)

I will be 24 years old in about a month. Damn, I'm getting old.

I miss Heroes/Sylar. I'm going through withdrawal. I can't wait until September 21st when season 4 will start back. :)

Well, I think that's enough randomness for now. :)

A Sad Day for Music...

The King of Pop, Michael Jackson, passed away yesterday afternoon. It's certainly a sad day for music.

I don't know if the allegations against him were true (regarding child molestation), but I'm sure no one would argue that he certainly was a strange man. However, no matter how strange he was, he still brought a lot to the table. He forever changed pop music. And he left us with a lot of awesome songs. :)

Ridiculously happy :)

I am completely and utterly, ridiculously happy. :) I don't think I've ever been so happy in all of my life. And that's even with all of the drama still in my life. It's so incredibly wonderful. :)

Philip and I haven't been dating for very long, but I'm so in love with him. He's the most wonderful boyfriend I've ever had. There aren't enough positive adjectives to describe how I feel.

He's sweet and caring. He's smart and funny. He wants to make me happy. He tells me I'm beautiful and he treats me so well. And we have so much fun together. We've gone to a few concerts together (side note: The Fray was soooo incredibly AWESOME! It was definitely worth the money. And they were with Jack's Mannequin who are also great in concert... they have so much energy!) and we've gone to Carowinds together (before that, I hadn't been on a rollercoaster in years!). We actually enjoy the same things!

I know it sounds crazy, but I've never really had this before. I've been in love before. I was in love with Michael and I was in love with Joe. However, I didn't really have that much in common with either of them. It makes things a lot more complicated. I enjoyed being in their company, but there wasn't a whole lot we could do together. Michael and I had racing. Joe and I went for walks and played games together. Neither of them liked concerts or crowds. So, I didn't get to go to concerts or to amusement parks or anything like that (because I'm a people pleaser).

With Philip, we like doing a lot of the same things. It's awesome. We can just hang out and watch a movie and smoke the hookah (without him getting antsy about not doing anything). We can go ride a bunch of rollercoasters (without him having a panic attack about all of the people or complaining about the lines). We can go to a concert (without him complaining about the crowds and the noise). We can lay around and talk (without the need to go!go!go!). And he can hold me without it having to lead to something more. I've never had this before.

Philip is the perfect boyfriend. If someone would have told me that last year, I probably would have laughed. But it's true. I don't know how he managed to keep it a secret. He is wonderful. I am a very lucky woman. :)

My blog...

If you don't want to know what I'm thinking, don't read my blog. It's that simple. I am not going to censor myself so that other people can be comfortable. This is my blog. These are my thoughts. If you don't like it, stay off my page.

Life...

I swear, every time I think things are going well, something else falls onto my lap.

Joe and I agreed that the dogs would stay with him until I could get on my feet. I couldn't find an apartment that would let me keep the dogs, so I got a cheap apartment where I could hopefully save up some money and be able to afford to buy a house next year. I wasn't thrilled about it because they are my dogs and I would like for them to live with me. But, I thought Joe would take care of them.

He told me this morning that he's decided to have them all be outside dogs. He says it keeps the house cleaner. Well, the house would be cleaner if he never went home either, but I don't see him doing that.

I am absolutely livid. The dogs have always been indoor dogs. And now, suddenly they're supposed to be outdoor? They are scared to be outside by themselves at night and now they're supposed to have to sleep out there? And Jack gets cold if it's below 70 degrees. He is definitely not an outdoor dog. And Cody is already taking everything so badly that he's going to be even more traumatized. He misses me and doesn't know what to do. And now he's really going to feel abandoned.

It's days like today where I wonder what I ever saw in Joe.

And some stuff happened...

Things are going great in my life again. :)

Joe has decided to stay friends with me. He finally figured out that other people's crap is irrelevant to our situation. We had a wonderful chat on Friday and then we hung out for a few hours on Sunday. It's wonderful to have my best friend back. :)

Yes, I am dating Philip. So far, people are either completely shocked or they saw it coming for a while. The people who saw it coming scare me. lol... it's weird to me because I didn't see it coming at all.

I met Philip over 4 years ago. If someone would have told me then that this would happen, I would have laughed in their face. Of course, Philip and I have both changed a lot in that time.

Even if someone would have told me 2 months ago that this would happen, I would have laughed. I guess Philip has had feelings for me for a little while though. A friend of Philip's saw it coming for years. Before even Philip felt anything. That is scary. She is obviously psychic and worthy of my fear. lol

Another surprising thing... Philip is by far the best boyfriend I have ever had. I know I'm not really all that experienced with that (my total is up to 3 boyfriends now... lol), but still, I know he's wonderful. He really knows how to treat a woman. :) He listens. He talks. He is so sweet. He's not nearly as big of a pain as he pretends to be. Ha!

Something slight disturbing... Apparently I'm a whore. lol... it feels funny to write that. I'm just kidding about it though. It's just something frustrating that I've come across in recent weeks. A few weeks ago, someone assumed that because I'm dating Philip that I was having sex with him... and that was after only dating him for a few days. It's irritating to me because I think that people should know me better than that.

A friend of mine started dating someone who he didn't really know and almost immediately started a physical relationship with her. That's horrifying to me. I know that he's in love, but still... he doesn't know her at all. I don't know how people jump into that. I mean, I've been friends with Philip for about 4 and a half years and I don't feel comfortable jumping into bed with him. How do people have sex with people they don't know??

Blah... I'm done with that now. I went to Carowinds on Saturday with Philip. I had an awesome time. :) It's funny to me that I am terrified of falling and heights, but I love roller coasters. It's nice to have someone to go with me. I can do what I want again. It's fantastic. I love Joe, but I feel like I lost who I was with him. And now I've found me again. It's wonderful.

You wanna talk about betrayal??

People cannot be trusted. People who you think are your friends will stab you in the back. People will be nosy and ignorant. People will do more harm than good.

Everyone knows by now that Joe and I broke up a few weeks ago. That is between Joe and I. We were working things out just fine and trying to stay friends until people butted into that. Joe and I couldn't work it out. We both knew it was the right decision. End of story. After it all, Joe told me that he wanted me to be happy and to move on. Not that it's any of your damn business, but I am.

Someone who I thought was my friend really messed with Joe's head this weekend. Talking about how I betrayed him and that what I was doing was really messed up.

First of all, I never betrayed Joe. I never cheated on him. I haven't been anything but honest with him about everything since the break-up. He has supported all of my decisions (that you can verify with him).

I think it's really funny that this "friend" wanted to talk to Joe about betrayal. First of all, he was hanging out with me this weekend and never said anything about it to me. He just pretended that everything was fine. That seems like a fucking betrayal on his part. He betrayed me by going behind my back. If he has a problem with what's going on, he should say something to me. Not bash me to other people.

Second of all, his current relationship status is messed up. He has done more betrayal than I have. He's lying and possibly cheating and certainly misrepresenting himself. And I told him upfront how I felt about that. But he couldn't say things to my face?? I would say that what he is doing is the pot calling the kettle black, but I haven't cheated or lied. He has no right to talk about betrayal. Joe and I are still honest with each other. He's the fucker.

And, to all of you other jerks out there, mind your own damn business. You're just making everything more complicated than what it is. You're making things harder on Joe, not me. I've been honest and up front with everyone about everything I've done. I've got Joe's support in what I'm doing. None of you other "friends" matter.

A few good things have come out of this. I've been able to find out who my true friends are. Thanks for being there. You have made this easier and you've been wonderful.

This note is aimed at the few who have been back stabbing. You know who you are. Go fuck yourselves.

Roller Coaster...

My life has never been such a roller coaster ride before. I'm not especially fond of drama. I don't thrive on it like some people. In fact, it makes me sick. So, I haven't been feeling awesome for the past few weeks. It's really draining.

Most people know that I don't like to talk about my personal relationships to people outside of that relationship. I don't think it's appropriate. However, I'm emotional and I want to get some things off my chest. And, I don't think the previous rule is standing since we aren't in a relationship at all anymore.

The latest news is that Joe has decided not to speak to me anymore. He says he can't heal while still trying to be friends with me. I understand where he's coming from, but it still hurts to be losing my best friend.

Joe has been my best friend for over four years now. How am I just supposed to not speak to him anymore?

I go about my business at home even while he's here. We don't speak. We don't make eye contact. It's awful. He has asked me to move out. I know that would be ideal, but where am I going to find someplace that I can afford where I can have four dogs?? If you know of a place in the area, please let me know.

Until I find a place, I will be living in limbo. Living with the person who I care for most in the world and who I have to pretend I feel nothing for.

I'm feeling torn in a million different directions. I'm feeling a lot of emotions. I mostly feel hurt and sad. On the other hand, I'm angry. While I was the initiator of the break-up, it wasn't my fault. I poured my heart and soul into the relationship. It was one-way. I gave everything I had but couldn't make it work by myself. So, I got out. And Joe agreed it was the right decision for us to make. But now, I have to give up my best friend. It all doesn't seem fair. If I did everything right, why do I have to lose so much?

All of this being said, I'm royally effed up for my next relationship. :) I'm scared to death to let anyone in. I know that's probably normal, but I hate it. I'm not really experienced in the relationship department. I've had two long term relationships. Michael for almost four years and Joe for over four and a half years. Both have ended badly. Michael still doesn't speak to me. And now Joe doesn't want to speak to me.

What's really messing me up is that I did what I was supposed to do in those relationships. I was a good girlfriend. I was loving, understanding, trusting, faithful, and devoted. I did whatever I could for them. I was strong. I was a shoulder to lean/cry on. I changed myself and compromised to make things work.

It makes me happy to make my partner happy. However, in both of these relationships, it backfired. Michael took me for granted for most of our relationship. I promised myself that I wouldn't stand for it again. So, when it started happening with Joe, we talked about it. It didn't matter. It didn't change anything.

So, what am I supposed to learn from these relationships? I am stronger now. I am more independent. I know I don't need them (despite how much it hurts to be losing Joe). But, what do I do to make a partner not take me for granted? Stop being a good girlfriend? That's effed up.

So, I'm left in a crazy place in my mind. I don't know how to make a relationship work. I thought when I was younger that all it took to make a relationship work was love. I learned that this simply wasn't the case with Michael. So, I thought that hard work and being a wonderful partner would make things work. I've learned that isn't the case with both Joe and Michael. So, I've learned that I can't make a relationship work on my own. That's great to learn, but it doesn't leave me very open to being in a relationship. I don't like leaving my heart open for more pain.

Michael may have been really immature, but Joe was a really great guy. I couldn't trust him to make it work, so who am I supposed to trust?? I don't like leaving it up to someone else. If they stop trying (or just expect me to make it work like Joe did), where does that leave me? It leaves me in the same damn place again. Lost. Life out of control. Heart in pieces. It's not fair.

How do people do this? How do people keep putting themselves out there just to be crushed? It's terrifying. I was relatively fine after Michael. I could trust someone in a relationship because I just thought that it didn't work because Michael was too immature. Now I don't know what to think. Joe says he couldn't make it work because of all of his baggage, etc. Well, doesn't everyone have baggage? If baggage won't let you make a relationship work, aren't all relationships doomed?

So, I'm in a great position here. I'm fighting with myself to try to figure out how it's possible to let someone else in. I'm not giving up hope. It's just hard to figure out where things go wrong...

eh... I've rambled on enough for one night. I am feeling a lot better though, so that's good. :) Hopefully this war within myself will be over soon. I need to learn to move forward despite my baggage. That's the healthy thing to do, right?

Feeling great!

I was feeling pretty damn stressed before I left for my long weekend in Indiana. I feel great now, though. :) Life is good. I feel like I know who I am again. And I'm pretty awesome. :)

And, because of my trip, I now have physical as well as mental differences. First of all, my hair. It's really dark and purple-ish. It was an accident. I picked out this really awesome color that I loved. It turned my hair pink. Like, hot pink. Seriously. I don't know what happened. I think there must have been something wrong with the dye. I've never had problems before. Well, I hated the pink, so it had to go. I didn't want to go back to the store though. My mom had some dye in the cabinet called "Black Cherry." It looked decent, so we tried it out. It's really dark. And sort of purple. It was really purple at first. It's washed out some now though, so that's good. I was going to re-dye it this week when I got back to the Carolinas, but everyone seems to like it, so I figure I'll keep it for a while. :)

Secondly, I have a new tattoo. :) I asked my sister to get one with me, and of course, she was all for it. It's "Lyn" in script on my stomach next to my right hip. I love it. I'll have to put up some pictures soon (the battery is dead in my camera right now, otherwise I'd take some and put them up now). I've wanted another one for a while. Joe hates tattoos though, so I was trying not to irritate him by getting one. I thought it was appropriate now. :)

*** UPDATE ***

I've got pictures up now. See below :)

Sex... (That title caught your attention, right?!)

I've been thinking a lot lately. It's been egged on a lot by movies I've seen recently.

People are insane! There are actually people out there who have sex with random people who they do not know. This is a horrifying thought to me.

I have rules about sex that I do not break. I'm not so conservative as to say that marriage should be saved for marriage (I don't believe that... sex is an important aspect of a relationship and you need to know if you're sexually compatible before committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life), but I do have more conservative rules than society seems to be pushing.

Number one, I have to be in a serious relationship with someone. Number two, I have to be in love with them. I've never broken my rules. I don't know how I could live with myself if I did. I'm not saying that my rules are for everyone, but I would think that everyone should at least know the person they're sleeping with.

I have my rules for my own reasons. Sex is very personal for me. It's something to be shared with someone that I love. Not for just anyone. However, I know that sex isn't that for everyone. However, that doesn't mean that people should have sex with someone that they picked up in a bar. You don't know that person. There are serious repercussions for having sex with someone you don't know.

First of all, disease. Herpes is not how you want to remember that crazy weekend. It's disgusting and it's going to put a serious damper on your future plans. Even if someone appears to be clean, looks can be deceiving. And can you really trust someone you just met to tell you the truth??

Second of all, pregnancy. Do you really want to be impregnated by someone that you know nothing about?? I realize that not everyone has the same attitude as me about abortion not being an option, but still, even pro-choicers know that abortion can be traumatizing.

Third of all, the person you go home with could be a freak. This goes for women especially since we are more likely to be raped/attacked. That person who seemed great in the bar could be a rapist or murderer. Is the possibility of an orgasm really worth that threat?? It isn't to me!

Finally, how high could your self esteem be if you're willing to open your legs for anyone? I think people should love themselves more than that.

I'm not saying that everyone should have to be in love with the person they give themselves over to. I've known/been with people who sex was more like a game or sport to pass the time. Even still, that doesn't mean that those people need to have sex with anyone. Is it really going to kill a person to wait a while to find out if that person is worth your time?

Come on, people. Be safe. And find out something more than that person's favorite position or bust size before going to bed with them.

Yes, it is true.

I've gotten a million messages and phone calls. First of all, everybody wants to know, "Is it true???" I blame this question on Jon and Aileen for tricking everyone by changing their facebook status a while back just to see what would happen. Yes. It is true. Joe and I have decided to break up. I've been feeling that we were growing apart for some time now. I've tried to make it work. I do love him, but we are just not compatible anymore. I'm not going into any gory details because I don't think it's appropriate. I just want everyone to know that I am okay and Joe is going to be okay as well. We are both resilient people. Thank you for all your messages, calls, and the like, but I don't really feel like talking about it right now. I'm just trying to move forward.

It Could Be Worse...

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to Mom. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Tennessee

I spent my weekend in Clarksville, Tennesee. Richard, a friend of mine, was graduating from Austin Peay University. So, I went with Philip, Roger, and Erin on the 8 hour trip. We had an awesome time.

We had an indoor pool that Philip and I spent more time in than we did the beds. You probably think I'm kidding, but I'm pretty sure that more hours were spent swimming than sleeping on this trip. :) Philip and I had a competition to see how many times we could dunk each other. I lost. Of course. However, I did manage to dunk Philip 4 times. I was pretty happy with that. Even though he dunked me like a hundred and forty seven times. Maybe it wasn't that many, but it sure felt like it. And, since I bruise easily, I have bruises all over my arms and legs. My arms didn't bruise too badly. My wrists only have faint bruises. I do have a few big, ugly, purplish bruises above my elbows, but you can't see them when my arms are down at my sides. My legs are another story. They are bruised all over. Luckily, none of the bruises actually hurt. :)

We also went bowling twice. I didn't bowl that great, but it wasn't completely awful either. I even beat Richard once (he's a far better bowler than I am... don't let that fool you though. I didn't bowl well; he just bowled awful).

We went to the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville. It was really interesting. I think we spent about 3 hours there. It didn't feel like it.

It was a fantastic trip and I am sad to be back at work today. Oh well. Less than 2 weeks and I'm off to Indiana for a long weekend.

New Goal #1

I made a few new goals for myself recently. The first one is to read at least 100 books this year. This is how far I've gotten so far:

1. The Host -- Stephenie Meyer
2. Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust -- Immaculee Ilibagiza
3. Coraline -- Neil Gaiman
4. American Gods -- Neil Gaiman
5. One For The Money -- Janet Evanovich
6. Two For The Dough -- Janet Evanovich
7. Three To Get Deadly -- Janet Evanovich
8. Four To Score -- Janet Evanovich
9. High Five -- Janet Evanovich
10. Hot Six -- Janet Evanovich
11. Seven Up -- Janet Evanovich
12. Hard Eight -- Janet Evanovich
13. Visions of Sugar Plums -- Janet Evanovich
14. To The Nines -- Janet Evanovich
15. Ten Big Ones -- Janet Evanovich
16. Eleven On Top -- Janet Evanovich
17. Twelve Sharp -- Janet Evanovich
18. Plum Lovin' -- Janet Evanovich
19. Lean Mean Thirteen -- Janet Evanovich
20. Plum Lucky -- Janet Evanovich
21. Fearless Fourteen -- Janet Evanovich
22. Plum Spooky -- Janet Evanovich
23. Death On The Nile -- Agatha Christie

I think that's all I've got so far. However, I was in a slump at the beginning of the year. 19 of those are from the past month. I'm on a roll now. :) However, I still have to read more than 2 books per week for the rest of the year. It's going to be tricky.

I'm starting the Harry Potter series today, so if it's as interesting as everyone says, I should catch up pretty quickly. Then, after I finish that series, I plan to read some classics that I never got to before. And that will probably slow me down a bit. :S I'll probably throw in some more Agatha Christie, and Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich comes out in June. I also found a new book by Bart D. Ehrman called, Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them). Sounds really cool, right? Plus, Ehrman is amazing! Also, I'm going to read some books that I never got around to about Process Theology. Also, some new Feminist Theology books have come out. I'll be a mighty busy lady. But that's A OK! :) If you have any other suggestions for what I should read, let me know. I'm trying to read a little bit of everything, so whatever you've got in mind, tell me!

I don't really feel like going into my other new goal just yet. I'll blog about it later. I'll give you a hint though... It's nothing you'd expect from me. ;)

Who Knew??

So, my sister has a mole on her back that started changing colors. She made an appointment to have it removed a few weeks ago. Well, they couldn't remove it because she had to have some shots and a physical to enter the nursing program. She had to schedule another appointment to have the mole removed.

My mom called me yesterday morning upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "Do you remember the appointment Tonya had about the mole on her back?" I searched through my mind trying to remember if I knew when she had rescheduled for. I was, of course, thinking that she had it removed already and that she had cancer. I was wrong. My mom said, "She got her vaccinations for the nursing program and her TB skin test came back positive." Well, I didn't freak out. She had to have one in high school before she could work for the nursing home and it came back positive but her chest x-ray showed nothing. And, my TB skin test before coming to Catawba was iffy. So, I don't think they're 100% reliable. If they come back positive, you still have to have a chest x-ray to confirm that you have it.

Well, my mom went on to say, "They scheduled her for a chest x-ray and they found something in her lungs." At this point, my stomach sinks to my toes. I don't really know what TB does. I know it used to be called consumption and it affects the lungs. That's about it. All that was going through my head was, "Nicole Kidman's character dies of TB in Moulin Rouge." I was at the point of tears.

I've never heard of anyone getting TB in the U.S. I thought it was gone. Done for. Like Polio. I mean, has anyone met anyone who has had TB??

So, I did some research and it is still killing people all over the globe. Under 1,000 people die from it each year in the U.S. (ha! I didn't even know 1,000 people each year GOT TB, let alone DIED from it!). Those are mostly elderly people. It kills about 2 million people per year in the world. That's mostly people in 3rd world countries and especially people with HIV/AIDS.

There is a treatment for it. It lasts 6 to 9 months. Phew. That's a long time. She shouldn't be contagious after week 2 of the treatment though. At least, that's what the internet tells me. She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning to discuss it. I'm sure there will be more tests as well.

I'm not quite so freaked out now. It's very unlikely that she will have any problems recovering. However, she's supposed to start the nursing program in the fall. If she has TB, she probably won't be able to start. And she's already put in 2 years worth of work to get to this point. So, she will be devastated if she can't continue. If there is a problem, she will hopefully be able to just delay it for a year. But, that delay will suck. She's already had to transfer and had problems with credits transferring, so she's already behind. If she has to delay even longer, she's going to be in school for longer than Joe! ahahahahahah! :) Just kidding... there are very few people who can accomplish that! ;)

But, anyway... hopefully everything will go well with the doctor tomorrow. And then, hopefully she will get good news about the mole... which still hasn't been removed.

P.S. When I was making dinner last night, I turned on the TV and the news was on. The first story I heard was about a girl in Charlotte who tested positive for TB. Isn't it weird how when you find something out, relevant things seem to pop up?? This was really weird since I'd never heard of anyone getting TB in my lifetime!

Easter + New Addiction

I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't felt like it. I've mostly been reading. I'm have a new obsession with Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. There are 14 numbered books (One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly, etc.) and 4 between-the-numbers books (Visions of Sugar Plums, Plum Lovin', Plum Lucky, and Plum Spooky). I only have Fearless Fourteen and Plum Spooky left to read. And then Finger Lickin' Fifteen comes out in June. I've run through them in about 2 weeks. They are incredibly addictive.

I went home for Easter. It was wonderful. I got some time away and I got to spend some time with my family. I left Thursday, April 9 and came back Monday, April 13. It was a short trip, but I had a great time. However, I got my first speeding ticket on the way there. No bueno. I was doing 85 in a 65. Yuck. The officer told me that if I went to court, they would drop it to improper equipment and then it wouldn't go against my license. And that is good. I just got word from my insurance company that my insurance is rising because of a speeding ticket that Joe got. He's not even the primary driver. It used to be $130 every 6 months. Now it's $270 every 6 months. Insanity! I'm dropping him off of my insurance. If this one goes against his license, my insurance would be outrageous!

He is out of town this week. So, I will get to have a wonderfully quiet week to myself. Peaceful. :) It's good timing, too, because I need some time to myself. I'm feeling a need for isolation. My life is feeling claustrophobic. Joe doesn't understand my dislike for my job and we've argued about it too much lately. I'm growing resentful. It's probably the reason my breathing problems are flared up again. I haven't used my inhaler in over 2 months. I need it now. Unfortunately, I left it in South Korea and I haven't made it to get a refill yet. So, I'm dragging myself along until I can get to the pharmacy at a time when they're actually open. Ugh. Do you ever think to yourself, "Wow... this is not where I thought I would be at this point in my life"?

::Positive thoughts::

I have a job. I have a wonderful home. I have 4 beautiful pups. I have a boyfriend who doesn't drive me nuts 100% of the time. :)

Almost better...